“I don’t understand what is happening,” Sharon told me about her five-month-old, Ruby.

"I nurse her to sleep and put her down. She used to sleep for hours before waking up for a feed. Now she sometimes only sleeps 45 minutes before she wakes up again, wanting to nurse. I don’t understand why she’s having all these false starts.

I think she’s down for the night, so I start cooking my dinner. Then just as my food is ready, I hear her crying for me again. I already know I’m going to be eating another cold dinner, because I have to go nurse her back to sleep.”

These early wake-ups after bedtime are often called false starts. They are especially common around four to six months old.

What’s happening when your baby wakes 45 minutes after bedtime

Around four to six months, babies begin moving through sleep cycles more like adults do.

Each sleep cycle lasts about 30 to 45 minutes. At the end of that cycle, your baby briefly comes into lighter sleep before continuing into the next one. We adults don't even remember these micro wakings but this is when we typically roll over, fluff the pillow, or adjust the blanket.

But for babies, if they aren’t yet able to connect those cycles smoothly, they may wake fully instead.

That first wake after bedtime is often the earliest place parents notice this change.

Why this wake up happens right after bedtime

In the first few months of life, feeding, rocking, or bouncing a baby to sleep usually works very well.

But around four months of age, babies begin developing more social awareness.

So when they reach the end of that first sleep cycle and their sleep becomes lighter, they suddenly notice something has changed.

The loving arms that helped them fall asleep are gone.

They’re in a different place.

We know it's unlikely to be a hunger issue because they ate recently, and babies this age no longer need to eat frequently like newborns.

The issue is that when self-soothing isn’t present at the start of the night, babies don’t yet know how to return to sleep on their own later.

Why falling asleep in one place and waking in another is hard for babies

Imagine falling asleep in your own cozy bed with your pillow and comforter, and waking up on the living room floor.

You would feel startled.

The same is true for your baby when they fall asleep in one place, your arms, and wake up in another, the crib.

They’re not trying to make bedtime harder. They’re responding to a change they didn’t expect.

You don't have to leave your baby to cry alone

Helping babies learn to fall asleep in the crib doesn’t mean leaving them to cry alone for hours.

It means giving them the opportunity to fall asleep where they will stay asleep.

Your baby can go into the crib or bassinet awake while you stay nearby and support them.

You can comfort them.

You can reassure them.

What changes is that you’re not doing all the work of falling asleep for them.

This helps them recognize their sleep space so that when they reach the end of that first cycle, it's easier to continue sleeping.

When babies usually grow out of false starts

​Most babies begin connecting that first bedtime cycle more consistently between five and seven months if they have learned the skill of self soothing. 

You may notice the wake up becoming shorter first.

Then less frequent.

Then disappearing altogether.

Don't mistake this waking as undertiredness

When babies wake shortly after bedtime, parents sometimes assume bedtime needs to be later.

In fact, overtiredness often makes this wake up more likely.

An earlier bedtime is often helpful.

This is especially true for babies who are also taking short naps during the day.

Many babies who wake 45 minutes after bedtime are also taking short naps during the day. I wrote more about why naps are short around five months here.
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When false starts are a sign your baby needs more support

If your baby wakes after 30 to 45 minutes and then continues waking frequently throughout the evening, this is a sign they’re still learning how to connect sleep cycles consistently.

This is one of the most common transitions families reach out to me about.

There are gentle ways to support longer stretches as your baby’s sleep matures, and most babies make clear progress quickly once the right pieces are in place.

If your little one is struggling to connect sleep cycles, let's talk about what support could look like.

“Every nap is exactly 38 minutes. You can set your clock to it.”

Emma told me this after another day of trying to stretch her five-month-old’s schedule around short naps that never quite lined up.

​“I put him down tired. He falls asleep easily. Then he wakes up right when I finally sit down. And by the end of the day he’s exhausted again.”

By afternoon she has to bounce him through a fourth nap just to make it to bedtime.

If this sounds familiar, you are not doing anything wrong. Short naps are one of the most common sleep patterns I see in four to six month old babies.

Short naps mean your baby hasn't yet learned to connect sleep cycles

Around this age, babies sleep in predictable daytime sleep cycles that last about 30 to 45 minutes.

At the end of each cycle, their sleep becomes lighter. Some babies transition smoothly into the next cycle. Others wake fully instead.

Many babies become overtired and benefit from support learning how to link sleep cycles. This is a learnable skill, with time and patience.

Many babies who wake 30–45 minutes after naps are going through the same change that causes them to wake shortly after bedtime. I wrote more about that here: Why does my baby wake up 45 minutes after bedtime?
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What matters most is how your baby wakes

The length of the nap matters less than what happens afterward. That tells us whether the nap is working.

If your baby wakes happy: A short nap that ends with a calm baby is usually enough sleep for now. Some babies take short but restorative naps for several months before they naturally begin sleeping longer stretches during the day.

In this case, protecting bedtime and keeping the day predictable often helps more than trying to extend every nap.

If your baby wakes upset: This usually means your baby is still tired but could not transition into the next sleep cycle. This often leads to overtiredness and worse sleep at the next sleep.

When this happens, your baby is communicating that they need some help learning this skill. 

This does not mean leaving your baby to cry alone. It means giving your baby the chance to do some of the work of falling asleep while you stay nearby and supportive.

If naps end at exactly the same minute every time

Parents often notice this pattern right away.

“Every nap is 38 minutes.” or, “Every nap is 42 minutes.”

That kind of precision usually means your baby is completing one sleep cycle and waking instead of linking to the next one.

When do naps get longer?

Most babies begin consolidating naps sometime between five and seven months.

Some do this on their own. Others benefit from small adjustments to timing, sleep environment, or how they fall asleep.

If short naps are leading to overtired evenings, extra night waking, or a day that feels harder than it should, it is often a sign your baby is ready for help connecting sleep cycles.

A clear place to start

​If your baby takes 30–45 minute naps, you are not behind. You are watching your baby’s sleep system mature in real time. This is normal development.

The key question is whether this is a phase that will pass on its own, or a moment when your baby needs support moving forward. If you'd like help figuring out which is true for your baby, you can schedule a free consultation here.

It’s been 10 days since we took Valentina’s pacifiers away.

She immediately climbed out of the crib. We had to take the side off.

And she stopped napping. Going from 2 hours a day to zero. 

It has been a wild ride.

Why toddler naps fall apart after dropping the pacifier

Valentina would lie in bed talking, singing, sometimes crying, but not sleeping.

She was getting more and more tired.

The more tired she got, the worse her sleep. She started waking up during the night, struggling to fall asleep at bedtime, waking up too early in the morning. She was averaging two hours fewer sleep on average than before the transition. 

In case you were wondering, her behavior got a whole lot worse, too. Hitting, meltdowns, power struggles. Misery for the household. Most especially her. 

Is it normal for sleep to get worse before it gets better?

I started to second guess everything.

Should we have let her keep the pacifiers until she stopped needing a nap?

But what about her teeth? I could see that her teeth position had already shifted a bit.

I knew we didn’t really have a choice.

This is the moment most parents quit.

Not on day one.

Not when they expect it to be hard.

But a week in, when their child is more tired than before and it feels like things are getting worse instead of better.

That’s where doubt creeps in. Even for me.

That’s where you start thinking, maybe this was a mistake.

And then, consistency paid off

A few days ago, she cried for a long time and then finally fell asleep at naptime.
The next day, she napped again. And today, something shifted.

For the first time, there was no crying at naptime. She fell asleep and slept for over an hour and a half. And then she woke up happy.

Jackpot.

A child who wakes up happy is well rested.

A toddler who wakes up hysterical is not getting their needs met, even if the parent -- in this case me -- is trying her very best.

I’ve seen what happens when a child finally gets consistent, restorative sleep. They’re more flexible, more regulated, and more joyful. Everything in the day gets easier.

So if you’ve heard that sleep training is mean, I want you to pause and really look at the alternative.

A child who is exhausted and stuck needing help every time she wakes.

That’s not easier for them.

And it’s not easier for you.

What kind of parent are you when you aren't getting consistent sleep at night?

If you're anything like me, you are not the parent you want to be when you are sleep deprived.

Sleep training is hard. Even for me. Parenting is hard. But giving your child the ability to sleep well is a gift for everyone in the home.

And the moment it feels hardest… is very often the moment right before it clicks.
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If you’re in that moment right now, second guessing everything and wondering whether to keep going, I can help you create a clear plan and stay the course.

Let's talk about how your family can get better sleep even through challenging milestones. 

Ten Minutes After Giving Up Her Pacifiers, Valentina Asked For Them Back

Ten minutes after proudly putting all her pacis into the special bag, my daughter burst into tears and asked for them back.

If you’ve ever tried to help a toddler give up something they love, you probably already know how this story goes.

Preparing For The Goodbye

For weeks we had been reading a Lovery book about saying goodbye to pacifiers. In the story, a little girl named Clementine searches the house with her daddy, gathers every pacifier, and puts them into a special bag and using her special blanket for bedtime.

My daughter loved the story and wanted to read it again and again. Although she did think "Daddy" was the one giving up the pacifiers. :) 

So we started talking about how one day she would do the same thing. When she gave up her pacis, she would get a special blanket.

You might think this kind of transition would be easy for me. After all, I’m a pediatric nurse practitioner and a child sleep coach. For years, I've been teaching other parents how to handle these transitions.

But the truth is, I felt surprisingly emotional about it.

For weeks leading up to that night I felt sad and a little anxious. I kept putting it off and dreading the moment. Knowing intellectually that children can adjust to change doesn’t necessarily make it easier when it’s your own child.

Eventually we picked a night to do the pacifier hunt. I chose a Friday because I assumed sleep might be disrupted and I wanted the weekend to recover before work.

The Pacifier Hunt

When the night finally came, she was thrilled.

She went tearing around the house a pacifier hunt around the house. I "hid" the pacis in plain sight, on top of the coffee table and our bedside tables. Finding them was the most fun she could have imagined.

Each time she found one she ran back laughing hysterically and proudly dropped it into the bag.

It felt like a game. A celebration, even.

She was so excited to receive her special blanket.

And then, about ten minutes later, she plaintively asked, "Can I have my pacis back?"

That was hard. 

Night One: Total Chaos

Bedtime that night was messy. There were lots of tears. My partner I took turns lying down on the floor next to her. That’s not a long term habit I want to create, but it felt like a fair compromise for the first night of such a big transition.

She finally fell asleep around 9 pm. Only two hours later than usual! 

I had assumed the night itself might be rough.

To my surprise, it wasn’t.

She woke once briefly and went right back to sleep once I covered her with Special Blanket.

The Next Few Days

Over the next few days she kept checking in about the pacifiers.

“Can I have my pacis?”

I answered the same way each time.

“No, the pacis are gone. Remember we put them in the bag? We said bye bye to the pacis.”

At first we noticed something interesting. If we praised her too enthusiastically for giving them up, she immediately asked for them again. So for the first few days we didn’t talk about it much. We just stayed calm and consistent.

On the second night, she fell asleep at 7:30 instead of 9 pm. 

And by the third night, she was asleep by 7 pm. All by herself. No one lying next to her.

A Memory From My Middle Daughter

This experience reminded me of weaning my middle daughter from her pacifiers, years ago.

When she was approaching her third birthday, I told her that three year olds don’t use pacifiers anymore.

Our pediatric dentist suggested letting her pick out a special prize in advance and putting it somewhere she could see it but not reach it until she decided she was ready.

On the very day of her third birthday -- not what I had imagined -- Amelie decided she was ready.

She threw the pacifiers into the trash and proudly claimed the Elmo doll she had picked out.

About ten minutes later she looked at me seriously and said,

“I’m ready to throw Elmo away and get my pacis back.”

Toddlers are wonderfully logical in their own way.

What I See As A Sleep Coach

As a pediatric nurse practitioner and sleep coach, I talk with parents about pacifiers and other sleep crutches all the time. Many families worry that giving them up will be a huge battle or permanently disrupt sleep.

What I see most often is something much more like what happened in our house. There may be a few emotional moments at bedtime, but with a clear plan and calm consistency, most children adapt faster than their parents expect.

“The pacis are all gone. I know it’s hard. Your special blanket will help.”

But when parents stay calm, clear, and consistent, children usually learn much more quickly than we imagine.

I experienced it again in my own house this week.

Even for a pediatric nurse practitioner and sleep coach, these transitions can feel surprinsigly emotional in the moment.

How parents can use Daylight Saving Time to shift sleep schedules and prevent early morning wake-ups
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“Hi Abby, as the clocks have just changed, we're hoping we can use that to our advantage. And lean into Teddy’s body clock being tuned to our target times.”

His parents continued:

“We’d love to aim for a 7 pm bedtime tonight enabling a 7 am wake-up tomorrow. Do you think that’s reasonable considering 48 hours ago that would’ve been 6 pm and 6 am respectively which we were achieving smoothly for the last couple of weeks.”

If you’re reading this and thinking, yes, that’s exactly what I’m wondering, you’re not alone.

Every time Daylight Saving Time rolls around, parents start asking the same question: can the time change actually help shift a sleep schedule?

Sometimes it can.

When This Idea Can Actually Work

In Teddy’s case, his parents had been getting a very consistent night: 6 pm to 6 am for the last couple of weeks.

When Daylight Saving Time shifts the clock forward by an hour, that same biological rhythm suddenly lines up with 7 pm to 7 am on the clock.

In other words, nothing about Teddy’s sleep actually has to change. The clock simply caught up to the schedule his body was already keeping.

The real question is whether the family can maintain it.

Because if you’ve been parenting for a while, you know how easily sleep schedules drift.

One later bedtime, one missed nap, a busy afternoon that pushes dinner back. Over time those small shifts can slowly move the whole rhythm earlier or later again.

And it’s not just bedtime. Nap times, meals, daycare schedules, sibling pickups, and everyday life all pull on the rhythm.

Daylight Saving Time occasionally gives families a chance to reset that drift.

But keeping the schedule consistent afterward is what determines whether the change sticks.

What Should You Do About Bedtime After the Time Change?

Parents often wonder whether they should move bedtime gradually or simply follow the new clock.

If your child already had a predictable sleep schedule, the simplest approach is often the best one: run the same routine and let the clock change do the adjustment.

Same wind down.

Same pajamas.

Same bedtime routine.

Just start it one hour later by the clock.

But for this to work, the rest of the day has to shift too. 

Naps and meals need to move an hour later so the body clock stays aligned with the later morning wake-up.

For example, if your previous schedule looked like this:

6 am wake-up
9 am nap
1 pm nap
6 pm bedtime

After the time change it should become:
7 am wake-up
10 am nap
2 pm nap
7 pm bedtime

If naps stay on the old schedule, your child will build sleep pressure earlier and the later bedtime often won’t hold.

When the whole day shifts together, many families are surprised by how smoothly the transition works.

The Bottom Line

Daylight Saving Time can sometimes help shift bedtime later or mornings later, especially if your family already had a predictable sleep rhythm.

But the clock change alone won't fix sleep problems for more than a few days.

If bedtime currently feels exhausting or unpredictable in your home, you’re not alone.

Better sleep is absolutely possible, much faster than parents expect.

Here’s the link to schedule a consultation.

Better sleep in two weeks or less, guaranteed.

A parent asked a great question after yesterday’s post about the spring forward time change.

“If bedtime is normally 7 pm and you shift it to 8 pm before the change, wouldn’t that become 9 pm once the clocks move forward?”

This question highlights exactly why daylight saving time scrambles everyone’s brain for a few days each year.

There are two clocks involved.

The clock on your wall.

And the clock inside your child’s body.

When we spring forward, the wall clock jumps one hour back. But your child’s internal clock does not jump with it.

So after the change:

7 pm on the clock feels like 6 pm to your child’s body.

Some families simply keep the same clock time and ride it out for a few days. Bedtime may feel earlier to your child’s body at first, but most kids adjust quickly.

Other families prefer to shift bedtime gradually in the days before the change.

For example:

Wednesday: 6:45 pm
Thursday: 6:30 pm
Friday: 6:15 pm
Saturday: 6 pm
Sunday: 7 pm (new time, feels like 6 pm standard time)

After the clocks change, that 6 pm bedtime will feel like 7 pm to your child’s body. In other words, their internal clock is already aligned.

Both approaches work.

The most important thing is not which strategy you choose. It’s consistency for a few days while your child’s body catches up.

And if you are awake before sunrise this weekend wondering why daylight saving time still exists, you will be in excellent company.

If you're looking for practical ways to help your child adjust to the time change, you can read my full spring forward sleep guide here.

If your child is already struggling with early mornings, bedtime battles, or needing you in the room to fall asleep, the time change can magnify those patterns. A clear plan makes transitions like this much easier.