​A mom recently came to me after 14 months of doing all the things: nursing, rocking, bouncing—sometimes for over an hour—just to get her baby to sleep.

She was exhausted. Her baby was waking multiple times a night, and the only way to get him back down was to repeat the entire routine again and again. But more than anything, she was afraid.

Afraid that if she tried to make a change—if she dared to set a boundary around sleep—she would somehow damage her child.

Because everywhere she turned, she kept hearing the same thing:

“It’s biologically normal for babies to eat to sleep.”

“Just wait—they’ll grow out of it.”

“If you sleep train, you’re harming your child.”

She didn’t want to harm her baby. She just wanted to sleep. She wanted to feel like herself again. She wanted to know that it was okay to want that.

And maybe you do too.

Let’s talk about what’s actually “normal”… and what’s sustainable.

​Feeding to sleep is often described as “biologically normal”—especially in the early months. Babies are born with a strong suck-to-soothe reflex. Falling asleep while nursing or bottle-feeding feels cozy and safe. It’s common. It’s instinctive. And if it works for your family, there’s no problem.
That said, I’m always a little cautious with the word “normal.” Because too often, it gets used in ways that make tired parents feel ashamed for wanting things to be different. Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s the only way—or that it’s working for you.
You’re not doing anything wrong if your baby feeds to sleep.
And you’re not doing anything wrong if you’re ready for something more sustainable.
What becomes problematic is when feeding to sleep is the only way your child knows how to fall asleep—at bedtime, and again between every sleep cycle all night long.
The result? A baby who wakes every 1–2 hours crying for help… and a parent who’s running on empty.
Yes, night waking is biologically normal. But so is learning to fall asleep independently. Sleep is a skill. And if a child has never had the chance to practice falling asleep without help, it makes perfect sense that they don’t know how to do it when they wake in the night.
It’s not about eliminating comfort. It’s about building your child’s capacity.
So if you're stuck in a cycle of rocking, bouncing, or nursing back to sleep for every wake-up—and it’s not working anymore—you don’t have to wait for your child to “grow out of it.”
You can make a change with kindness. You can support your child’s sleep without sacrificing your own.
And no, you are not harming your child by doing so. Quite the opposite. When sleep improves, everything else tends to feel easier—connection, play, feeding, regulation. That’s true for parents and kids alike.
If you’re feeling stuck, but scared to take the leap, I’d love to talk it through with you. I offer a free, no-pressure discovery call where we can explore what’s going on in your home, what kind of support feels right, and whether we’d be a good fit.
You can book a time here: [Insert your scheduling link]
You are not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong.

She lay in bed at 4 am, wide awake—again.

Not because the baby was crying. Not because she was behind on work or overwhelmed by the laundry (though, that too).

But because she couldn’t stop thinking about how her kids were growing up… and their grandparents hardly seemed to notice.

She’d tried everything. Invited them over for dinner. Sent adorable videos of her toddler’s first dance class. Offered to FaceTime whenever they were free.

And still—silence. Or, at best, vague replies. “We’ve been so busy.” “Let’s try next weekend.” “Tell the kids we say hi.”

Meanwhile, she saw the pictures. Her friends’ kids beaming next to doting grandparents.

Stories about spontaneous visits, sleepovers, shared traditions.

And it broke something in her—not because she needed her parents to show up for her, but because her kids deserved more.

If you’ve ever felt this heartbreak—that quiet, aching gap between what you hoped your kids would have and what’s actually happening—you’re not alone.

It’s a grief that doesn’t get talked about.

Because you’re supposed to just be grateful. For your healthy kids. For your stable job. For whatever support you do have.

And yet… when your kids ask why Grandma didn’t come to the recital, or why they haven’t been to Grandpa’s house in a while, your stomach drops.

You’re the one trying to hold it all together.

Trying to build connection. Trying to create a sense of family.

Trying to protect your kids from the sting of feeling unwanted.

But deep down, you feel it, too.

Here’s what I want to say, just in case no one else has:

You’re not asking for too much.

You’re not overreacting.

And it’s okay to feel sad—or even angry—about this.

Because when we become moms, we often start dreaming of a big, beautiful web of love around our kids. And when parts of that web are missing, it hurts.

Not because you’re needy.

But because you love so deeply.

And while you can’t control how others show up…

You get to grieve the gap.

You get to name the loss.

And you still get to be the kind of parent who shows up with her whole heart.

Even when others don’t.

If this resonates with you, coaching might help.

Not because I have a script to fix your family dynamics—no one does.

But because you deserve a place where you get to be cared for. Where your heartbreak has room to breathe. Where we can gently untangle the guilt, the resentment, the mental spirals—and help you show up with strength and softness, even in the messiest moments.

This is the kind of work I do with moms every day.

Not to make them less emotional.

But to make space for the full truth of their experience—and help them find steadiness again, even when others don’t change.

If you’re carrying a quiet heaviness like this, I’d be honored to support you.

You don’t have to keep holding it all on your own.

PS – If this story resonated, and you’re curious what it would be like to have someone in your corner, I’d love to talk with you. Here’s the link to book a call. There's no sales pressure and I promise you'll learn something fascinating about yourself. 





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Are You Waiting for the ‘Perfect Time’ to Improve Sleep? Here’s Why That’s a Trap

It was 2:30 AM. Again.

You rocked your baby for the third time that night, trying to remember what the pediatrician said about wake windows and wondering if the next sleep regression had already started. “Maybe we should just wait until this phase is over,” you whisper to your partner, even though you’ve said the same thing for three months now.

Sound familiar?

You want better sleep. Desperately.

But you’re not sure now is the right time. Your baby just started teething. Or you’ve got a trip coming up. Or they’re hitting a developmental leap (or five). So you wait.

Then one day turns into a week. A week turns into months. And before you know it, you're still exhausted, your baby still isn't sleeping, and you're still telling yourself the same thing: “As soon as [insert challenge here] is over… then we’ll start.”

As a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified sleep coach, and mom of three, I hear this every week. And I get it. You want your baby to have the best chance of success—and you want to feel confident and calm when you begin.But here’s the truth: there’s no perfect time to start. And waiting might be making things harder, not easier.

The All-or-Nothing Mindset Keeps You Stuck

Parenting already asks a lot of you. And when you’re running on fumes, your brain naturally looks for reasons to delay. “Let’s just wait until this leap is over” feels like a wise, patient decision. But often, it’s actually rooted in fear—fear of making things worse, fear of failing, fear of it not working.

That all-or-nothing thinking (“I need the stars to align before I can fix sleep”) keeps so many families stuck in survival mode far longer than they need to be. (I talk to families who have literally be suffering for years before they reach out to me. So if this is you, don't feel guilty, you are in good company.)

What If Sleep Helped With the Leap Instead of Needing to Wait It Out?

Yes, babies go through regressions, leaps, teething, growth spurts, travel, new siblings, daycare transitions… all of it. But those challenges aren’t going anywhere. In fact, they’ll keep coming no matter when you start.The difference? A well-rested baby can handle those transitions better.

Better naps and consolidated nights mean:
​

• More emotional regulation during leaps
  
  
• Easier transitions with travel
  
  
• Less clinginess or meltdowns from overtiredness
  
  
• More peace and predictability for you
  
  
• And even, less (or no) crying from teething
  
  

Sleep isn’t something you fix after life settles down—it’s the foundation that helps everything else feel more manageable.

When Should You Wait?

If you have travel coming up in the next two weeks and your baby will be older than 9 months by the time you're home? Okay, then it probably makes sense to wait and begin once you're back.

But in almost every other scenario, starting now will make the next phase easier. Not harder.

You Don’t Have to Be Ready—You Just Have to Start

You can start with incremental small changes if that is what feels doable to you. Believe me, in today’s stressful times, I can understand that an entire overhaul of your nights might feel just a bit overwhelming. (Start just with moving bedtime earlier!)

Because here’s the secret: sleep improves faster than you think. In just two weeks, your nights can feel radically different.

Want to talk about what it might look like to get real sleep--now, not someday?

Let’s hop on a quick call. We’ll figure out if now is the right time for your family, and I’ll walk you through exactly what support would look like. (And if now is not the right time for your family, I promise I’ll tell you the truth about that, too.) You’ve waited long enough. Let’s make this the moment it starts to get better.

​If you’ve ever called your baby a “bad sleeper,” you’re not alone.

Maybe your friend’s baby was sleeping through the night by 10 weeks and yours still wakes every 45 minutes. Maybe bedtime feels like a full-contact sport. Maybe naps only happen in the car—or not at all.

It’s easy to assume your baby is just… wired differently.

That they’re one of the “bad sleepers.”

But after helping over 500 families teach their babies to sleep through the night, I’m here to tell you:

There’s no such thing as a bad sleeper.

There are babies who need more support, more time, or a different approach—but labeling them as “bad sleepers” can actually make things harder for everyone.

Here’s why that belief is so common—and how to reframe it so your baby (and your family) can finally get the rest you need.

The “Bad Sleeper” Myth

When sleep isn’t happening, it feels deeply personal.

You start to question everything:

• Is my baby broken?
• Am I doing something wrong?
• Why is this so easy for everyone else?

But the idea that some babies are just "bad at sleeping" sets parents up to feel helpless—when in reality, sleep is a skill that babies can learn with the right support.

Some babies come out able to sleep independently with very little guidance from a very early age. Others are more sensitive, reactive, or need more structure to feel safe enough to rest.

That’s not a flaw. It’s a starting point.

Sleep Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait

Just like crawling, eating, or potty training, sleep is a developmental process that involves learning.

And like any other skill:

• Some babies pick it up easily
• Others need more time and coaching
• All babies do best with consistent, responsive support

So instead of asking, “Why can’t my baby sleep?”, try asking:

“What’s getting in the way of sleep—and what support does my baby need to learn it?”

What to Do If Your Baby Isn’t Sleeping

Whether your baby is 7 weeks or 7 months, here’s what I recommend instead of resigning to the “bad sleeper” label:

1. Start with rhythm—not a rigid schedule
Babies thrive on predictable patterns, even from the earliest weeks. A consistent flow of sleep → feed → play → sleep helps their nervous systems relax.

2. Recognize and watch for sleepy cues, not the clock 
Many overtired babies look “wired”—not sleepy. Learn your baby’s signs and keep wake windows short (especially in the morning).

3. Create a consistent sleep routine
A short, consistent wind-down signals safety. It could be as simple as a diaper change, white noise, swaddle/sleep sack, and a quick cuddle plus a lullaby.

4. Look at how your baby falls asleep 
If your baby always falls asleep at the breast or in motion, they may struggle to connect sleep cycles on their own. That’s not bad—it just means you can gently start practicing other ways of settling.

5. Don’t wait until you’re desperate
You don’t have to hit rock bottom to get support.
In fact, the sooner you create a foundation for sleep, the easier it is to build healthy habits—without sleep training that feels harsh or extreme.

Every Baby Can Learn to Sleep

​There is no one “right” way to teach a baby to sleep. But every baby has the capacity to rest better, with support that meets them where they are.

And every parent deserves to feel confident—not ashamed—about seeking help when sleep isn’t working.

You’re not failing. You’re figuring it out.

And there’s a way forward—without labels, blame, or burnout.

Need support?

If your baby isn’t sleeping and you're beyond tired, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to guess your way through this.

I help families create customized, responsive sleep plans that work with their baby’s temperament and their parenting values.

Book a free call here or check out my gentle sleep coaching package.

​You can sleep again. And it doesn’t have to mean letting your baby cry it out.

I met baby Luca’s mom when he was just 7 weeks old. Like so many new parents, she messaged me exhausted and unsure: “I’m not sure if it’s too early to reach out but…”

Luca had gone from sleeping two solid 3–4 hour stretches to waking nearly every hour. She and her partner were running on fumes. She’d read about a “6–8 week sleep regression” and wondered if she just had to ride it out for several more months or if there might be a less painful solution.

I assured her that there was, indeed, hope for them and we got started with a newborn sleep plan.  

Fast forward just 12 days, and I got this: “Hi Abby! The night was great! We put him down at 8 and there was no crying—he slept until 3, we fed him, and then he woke up at 6:40. He then went back to sleep until 9! We are so happy!”

Their baby was 9 weeks old at that point .

The 5–6 Month Sleep Training Rule: Helpful or Harmful?

We’ve all heard the same thing:

“You can’t sleep train a baby before 5 or 6 months. They aren't capable of self soothing before then.”

This guideline is meant to protect babies who still need night feeds or aren’t ready for self soothing. And yes, some babies—especially those with reflux or colic--do need more support early on. But here’s what no one tells you:

Some babies are ready much sooner. And also, “sleep training” doesn’t have to mean letting your baby cry alone or 12 hours at night with no feeds necessarily. It can simply mean:

• Building a routine that supports longer, better rest for everyone
• Learning independent sleep skills
• Stretching night sleep gradually 
  
  

That’s what we did with baby Luca—and the results spoke for themselves.

My Own Experience: Early Sleep Success

When I tell families that some younger babies can sleep long stretches, I’m not just speaking as a coach—I’ve lived it.

• My first baby was sleeping 8-hour stretches by 8 weeks old. No crying. Just responsive, consistent sleep foundations.
  
  
• My second? She was sleeping 10-hour nights by 10 weeks old, again with no tears.
  
  

Every baby is different. Not all are ready this early. But if yours is—wouldn't you want to find out?

What Can You Do Before 5 Months?

If your baby is younger than 5 months, you don’t have to sit back and suffer. You can:

• Establish a consistent sleep routine at bedtime and for at least some naps
• Begin age-appropriate independent sleep skills
• Gently support longer night stretches—without “cry it out”
• Start night weaning (if your baby is over 12 pounds and growing well -- ask your pediatircian)
  
  

The goal isn’t rigid scheduling or ignoring your baby’s needs. It’s about supporting your baby in sleeping better and feeling better — and helping you feel like yourself again.

Curious if your baby is ready for more sleep—even before 5 months?

Let’s talk. Click here to book a free sleep consultation and find out if your family is ready for great sleep.