I loved watching Simone Biles joyfully hug her coach after each of her performances at the Olympics.
But it made me wonder… what could the best gymnast of all time learn from a coach who has surely less ability than Simone? Despite her immense talent and incredible work ethic, Simone can’t always see where she could make tiny improvements to be even better. This isn’t anything negative about Simone. This is the reality of being human: we all lack insight sometimes. And in my experience, most of us also tend to be too hard on ourselves. I'm guessing the same is true even for the incomparable Simone Biles. This is why I will always have a coach. I always want to be improving and growing. As a coach, as a mother, as a partner, as a friend. I lack insight into my own shortcomings. I also beat myself up sometimes. A coach helps me see both. Unlike therapy, which for me was an endless cycle of storytelling about the deficiencies of my past – my parents, my trauma, my pain – coaching helps me move forward towards my best self. Since I started having a coach, my life has exploded in ways I could never have imagined. I started a business to support my family. I got in the best shape of my life. I stopped yelling at my kids. I found an amazing partner. I had a third child. We moved into the house of my dreams. Like an athlete, I have not and will never ever “arrive.” I still have plenty of bad days. Days where I feel absolutely miserable. But I don’t see that as a failure. I see that as a part of the growth process. And the amazing thing is that those bad days no longer stretch into weeks or months. I know how to move through them and get back to the joyful part of life. Simone Biles does things that the world was impossible. Do you want to do things that you thought were impossible for you? I’d love to show you a taste of what that would be like. Book a complimentary coaching session – no sales, just pure transformation – and see what it’s like! I can’t wait to show you. PS click on the link above, then scroll down to "complimentary 50 minute life coaching session." If your baby is waking up to eat multiple times per night after the newborn phase (3 months), she's not only waking up from hunger. She's also waking up because she's relying on feeding to fall asleep, because she's actually overtired, or very likely, a combination of the two.
After the "fourth trimester," assuming bottle feeding or a well-established breastmilk supply, a baby doesn't need to eat more than every 3-4 hours at night, and many babies are eating only once or not at all by this age. If you are happy to feed multiple times per night, carry on! But if you would like to cut back, it is safe to do so. If your baby wakes up during the night and it has been less than 3 hours since the start of the previous feeding, simply don't offer milk. You can either soothe in some other way or you can let your baby cry it out, with or without timed checks. All are safe options. The first time your baby wakes up at least 3 hours since the start of the previous feeding, go in promptly and offer a feeding. If you'd like to wait longer than 3 hours, that's perfectly fine, too. Most babies at this age can easily go 4 hours at night without eating. After that feeding, put your baby back in his crib and then wait at least 3 hours again before feeding. Handle the crying in the same way as you did before. If you are a breastfeeding parent and have a partner or other support person around at night, I suggest having that person go in to do any soothing you would like the baby to receive at night wakings where you will not be offering a feeding. Your baby may be upset at first if he's accustomed to seeing you, but if you are the one to check on him and you don't offer the breast, that's probably even more upsetting for him. Once your baby is accustomed to eating only every 3 hours or more per night, you can start gradually reducing the duration or volume of one feeding per night. Leave the other feedings alone. Only when one feeding is eliminated should you move on to reducing the next one. In this way, you can gently and gradually reduce the number of night feedings you offer until your baby is entirely night weaned, if you like, or else is at a number of night feedings that feels manageable to you. Have more questions? Night weaning can feel daunting. I can help. Schedule a free consultation and we can walk through the steps involved to get your family sleeping peacefully at night. "Act like the person you want to become."If you want to become a daily exerciser, commit to exercising every day. No matter what.
Make it so easy that it feels almost ridiculous. Start with just two minutes of stretching right after you get out of bed, even while you're still in your pajamas. Don't worry that that is too easy. You’ll naturally want to do more as you get stronger. Promise. I was a kid who hated being active and preferred instead to read in bed for hours. At age 18, I decided to become a daily exerciser and I’m still at it, 30 years later. I did it even when I was a single parent to two young children, working full time and commuting daily 45 minutes each way by train. Oh, and by the way, I’m still awkard and uncoordinated. Doesn’t matter. I’m a daily exerciser. PS My client Arianna hated the idea of exercise because her mother always used to tell her to exercise to lose weight. Her mother frequently criticized Arianna's weight as a child -- naturally causing her to gain more and more weight -- and so exercise felt like a punishment. In our work together, we uncoupled exercise from weight and just this morning, Arianna celebrated 40 days in a row of doing a morning yoga routine. She feels more energetic and less pain every day as a result of her hard work. Best of all, she is proud of herself and what her body can do. PPS Are you tired of beating yourself up for not exercising? Let's create a doable exercise routine for you that fits your life and makes you feel strong and energetic. Schedule a free coaching session to get yourself started. PPPS Quote by Mel Robbins. So now that your kiddo is sleeping well, what else would you like?
If you are like most parents, you’ve lost a bit of yourself in the merry go round of work, parenting, and an endless to do list. Do you remember yourself before you had kids? Do you remember how you imagined life being? Did it look a lot more rosy and infused with meaning? It’s time to get a piece of yourself back. Would you like to return to exercise? Start connecting with friends again after an embarrassingly long absence? Get your head above water with your to do list? Stop resenting your mother? Or best of all, just have more fun, with and without your kids? I can help. I am a coach who helps motivated parents achieve their goals. Any goal at all. Bring it. I’m so confident that I can help you that I am offering a free coaching session to anyone who wants it while I still have space in calendar. (I also still coach on sleep and on parenting itself.) Book your free coaching session today. Click here and scroll down to Life Coaching: Complimentary Life Coaching Session, 50 MinutesGet ready to achieve your goal for a better life. I just finished working with a family that has two kids, 5 and 3. The younger daughter was waking up in the middle of the night, asking for: a blanket adjustment, her water bottle, another stuffy, going to the living room, and more. Sometimes they were quick and sometimes they lasted for hours. These middle of the night wakings were understandably disruptive to the parents’ sleep but they were afraid to ignore her because the three year old, let’s call her Penny, would scream if her demands were not answered, and that would wake 5 year old Jane. The only thing worse than two tired parents and a tired 3-year-old is all of the above plus a tired five-year-old. So the plan that we came up with involved the parents moving Jane to their room. We always leave the challenging sleeper in the normal environment and move the good sleeper. That’s because we want to train the challenging sleeper is sleep well in her regular environment. There’s not much benefit to sleep training the challenging sleeper in a different environment because when you move her back, she’s bound to have sleep interruptions again. Like most of my clients, this family lives in NYC and does not have extra bedrooms. They were understandably not thrilled to have a child sleeping in their room but it was worth it to them to get better sleep. Moving Jane to their room meant that Penny could make noise at night without as much worry about waking Jane. The deal we came up with is that Penny slept 3 nights in a row without calling to her parents during the night, she would earn the privilege of having her sister move back into the room. Much to our surprise, Penny slept through the night the first two nights! Three-year-olds can be very surprising in this way – sometimes just getting clear with them about boundaries can be very powerful! She started to test the boundaries a bit more after that, but it was never once as bad as it was before we started the sleep training process. Her wakings were generally 10 minutes or less. And by the end of the two weeks, she had successfully earned her sister’s return to their room by sleeping through the night 3 times in a row. In our wrap up call, the parents asked how long they would have to keep this rule in place. I explained that while of course you can make an exception for illness or travel, they needed to keep the boundaries the same if they wanted to keep the same good sleep behavior in place. The best thing about their success is that their three-year-old was happier as a result of being well rested. They hope that by reminding Penny of the rules before bedtime, they won't have to move Jane again. And a lovely side benefit is that Jane is actually getting more sleep now too because we found that Penny had an easier time sleeping through the night with an earlier bedtime! Now both girls can go to bed earlier. If you’d like to get your three-year-old sleeping peacefully through the night, you have come to the right place. I work with more families of three-year-olds than any other age. Let’s schedule a free consult so we can get your family back on track in two weeks or less, guaranteed. |
AuthorAbby Wolfson is a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified child sleep consultant and certified life coach for parents. She divides her time between Brooklyn, NY and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Archives
October 2024
Categories
All
|