Does It Feel Impossible To Maintain Good Sleep Habits Over The Summer?

There’s no doubt about it: excellent sleep habits for your child require a significant commitment on the part of you, the parent. And that can feel impossible during travel, especially if you have multiple destinations or multiple trips in quick succession.

I invite you to consider two things.

Number one, not prioritizing your child’s sleep is likely to result in night wakings and early morning wakings. Would you rather — if you have to choose, and you very well might — prioritize flexible nap and bedtimes or would you rather prioritize getting to sleep through the night and waking up at a reasonable time in the morning?

There’s no “right” answer to this question. It’s simply a matter of your preferences and the needs of your family as a whole. It might be worth it to you on a very special occasion — going to see Fourth of July fireworks, for example — but not at other times. Whatever works best for your family as a whole is the right answer for you. Especially in families with multiple children, that may very well mean sometimes compromising the nap time or bedtime of the youngest family member. 

In general, the older your child, the more flexible they are able to be about a late bedtime and missing a nap. Babies are much more likely to have night wakings with disrupted routines than school aged children. Your specific child, however, may be more or less flexible than the average child her age.

The second thing I invite you to consider is the frequency of the exceptions to the routine. Making an exception once a month is less likely to cause sleep disruptions than making an exception three times a week. Can you rank your various sleep compromising activities so that you have a sense are most important for you and your family? Again, there’s no right answer here, but you might decide Fourth of July fireworks are worth a couple of nights of disturbed sleep but three times a week playground + ice cream after camp are not.

One final thing: you are absolutely guaranteed to be surrounded by other families making different choices than yours. Your child — if they are old enough to talk — is pretty much guaranteed to say some version of “but it’s not even dark out yet!” or “but my best friend gets to play outside until 9 pm every night!.”

Try not to be swayed by these arguments. The average American — and this absolutely includes children — is chronically sleep deprived. And they are likely so accustomed to being tired that they may not realize what they are missing out on. And children, most especially, aren’t likely to complain of being tired (except when you wake them up in the morning and need to get them out the door on a schedule). Most children under 6 years old need 11-12 hours of sleep at night, regardless of naps. I suggest a bedtime between 6:30-7:30 for most children this age. A bedtime of 8-9 pm is almost certainly too late. Even for a school aged child, 8-9 pm is very likely too late.

Symptoms of over tiredness often include frequent meltdowns and difficulty focusing. In fact, sleep deprivation in the school aged child can look exactly like ADHD. So if you are considering an evaluation for ADHD, consider moving bedtime earlier first, and see if your child’s learning or focusing challenges disappear.

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good when it comes to your child’s sleep. Figure out which things you are willing to compromise on, and which you are not. And be realistic with yourself about the price you will pay when you decide to compromise bedtime for a fun family activity. There’s no morality here. It’s just a matter of being clear with yourself that you are making a concious choice.

PS If you’d like to get your family’s sleep back on track despite a busy summer schedule, you’ve come to the right place. Schedule a free consult and find out how your family can be sleeping beautifully in 2 weeks or less, guaranteed.