How A "Good Enough" Bedtime Was Ruining the Rest of the Night

When Chris and Kate reached out to me, they thought they had a middle of the night toddler sleep problem. And an early morning sleep problem. Bedtime didn't bother them.

Their 2½-year-old daughter, Frankie, was waking up overnight, sometimes multiple times, and occasionally every 30 minutes starting around 3 a.m. And then starting the day at 5 or 5:30 every morning. 

Was bedtime perfect? Not exactly.

There was usually some screaming, a few callbacks, and urgent requests to come fix her blankets exactly the right way.

But Frankie usually fell asleep within a few minutes. So Chris and Kate figured it wasn't a big deal. They could tolerate a few minutes of chaos.

And if Frankie had been sleeping through the rest of the night, it probably wouldn't have been.

But when a child is waking multiple times overnight and starting the day at 5:00 a.m., those few minutes at bedtime aren't just an inconvenience.

They're the key to the entire puzzle.|

Here's why.

The skills children use to fall asleep at bedtime are the same skills they rely on when they naturally wake between sleep cycles throughout the night.

If a child needs a parent to stay nearby, cuddle, repeatedly respond to callbacks, or solve one last problem before falling asleep, they're much more likely to need that same help again at 12:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m., or 5:00 a.m.

In other words, the night wakings aren't the problem.

They are the symptom of the problem.

If your goal is for your child to sleep independently through the night, and you don't want to rock, feed, or lie beside them at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5 a.m., you have to stop doing those things at bedtime.

Once Chris and Kate helped Frankie learn to fall asleep independently at bedtime, the overnight wakings and early mornings improved right along with it.

If you're struggling with unruly bedtimes, repeated middle of the night wakings, or too-early mornings, I'd love to help. Schedule after free consultation here. 

PS Bedtime disruptions aren't always obvious. Sometimes it looks like repeated callbacks. Sometimes it's one more hug, one more blanket adjustment, or fourteen trips to the potty.

*Link to Chris's review on Google