How Long Will My Child Cry? And How Long Until They Are Sleeping Through The Night?

These are the number two questions I get asked in sleep consultations. 

Here are my answers.

Number one: it depends.

Children typically – though not always – cry longer with more parental involvement. You may think that your presence will be soothing – and perhaps it is, no way to know what a little one is thinking – but it’s definitely stimulating. A child can stay awake longer – and therefore cry longer – when there’s someone to interact with. No matter how boring the interaction.

Another factor is if you have attempted sleep training before. If you have, and you didn’t complete the sleep training, most likely your child figured out that if they cry or call long enough, you will come take them out of the crib. So they will definitely cry at least that long before falling asleep.

A third factor is, not surprisingly, your child’s temperament. The thing about this is: it’s hard to know ahead of time. Almost everyone I talk to think their child is going to be the hardest one yet to sleep train. And in most cases, that is not the case. But it can be hard to predict.

Parents who have easy-to-sleep-train children generally don’t hire a sleep consultant. So almost every family I work with has a child they believe is really challenging. And I believe them! But they can’t all be the hardest one ever. 🙂

That being said, here is a ballpark figure: I would say, on average, the typical child who is doing cry it out will cry for about 45 minutes the first night of sleep training. If you choose a more-parental-involvement approach, it will probably take longer. Which is not a problem if that feels like the right approach for your family! It is just data for you to consider. I support parents at all involvement levels. I do not have a one-size-fits-all approach. Every family picks the approach that is right for them. 

Number two: it also depends. Sorry.

If you pick a less-parental-involvement method like cry it out aka extinction, your child will almost certainly be sleeping through the night more quickly than if you pick a more involved method.

Again, that doesn’t mean you should do a less involved method. It’s just one factor among many.

If your child is currently feeding during the night, sleep training will take longer. In most cases, I recommend a gradual night weaning schedule for babies under age 1 and sometimes even beyond. We don’t want babies crying from extreme hunger at night. Waking from habit is a different story. That can be unlearned.

If your child is not feeding at night and you choose CIO, it typically takes 3-5 nights for your child to sleep through the night. Some kids do it much faster and some do it much slower. I would say that in almost every case, though, you’ll see significant progress in 3 nights.

If you choose the chair method, it takes 12 nights just to be outside of your child’s room at night (and no longer sitting in sight in the hallway). This might or might not be the right method for your family – it depends on you.

No matter how long it takes, one thing to keep in mind is that if you do nothing, your child will almost certainly still be waking up at night. A few harder nights might be worth a payoff? Only you can decide.

PS If you’d like help getting your child across the finish line to great sleep, schedule a free consult and lets talk about what a well rested life would look like for your family. Results are guaranteed.