I Started To Second Guess Everything

We took the paci away and naps immediately fell apart. Exhibit A: not napping.

It’s been 10 days since we took Valentina’s pacifiers away.

She immediately climbed out of the crib. We had to take the side off.

And she stopped napping. Going from 2 hours a day to zero. 

It has been a wild ride.

Why toddler naps fall apart after dropping the pacifier

Valentina would lie in bed talking, singing, sometimes crying, but not sleeping.

She was getting more and more tired.

The more tired she got, the worse her sleep. She started waking up during the night, struggling to fall asleep at bedtime, waking up too early in the morning. She was averaging two hours fewer sleep on average than before the transition. 

In case you were wondering, her behavior got a whole lot worse, too. Hitting, meltdowns, power struggles. Misery for the household. Most especially her. 

Is it normal for sleep to get worse before it gets better?

I started to second guess everything.

Should we have let her keep the pacifiers until she stopped needing a nap?

But what about her teeth? I could see that her teeth position had already shifted a bit.

I knew we didn’t really have a choice.

This is the moment most parents quit.

Not on day one.

Not when they expect it to be hard.

But a week in, when their child is more tired than before and it feels like things are getting worse instead of better.

That’s where doubt creeps in. Even for me.

That’s where you start thinking, maybe this was a mistake.

And then, consistency paid off

A few days ago, she cried for a long time and then finally fell asleep at naptime.
The next day, she napped again. And today, something shifted.

For the first time, there was no crying at naptime. She fell asleep and slept for over an hour and a half. And then she woke up happy.

Jackpot.

A child who wakes up happy is well rested.

A toddler who wakes up hysterical is not getting their needs met, even if the parent -- in this case me -- is trying her very best.

I’ve seen what happens when a child finally gets consistent, restorative sleep. They’re more flexible, more regulated, and more joyful. Everything in the day gets easier.

So if you’ve heard that sleep training is mean, I want you to pause and really look at the alternative.

A child who is exhausted and stuck needing help every time she wakes.

That’s not easier for them.

And it’s not easier for you.

What kind of parent are you when you aren't getting consistent sleep at night?

If you're anything like me, you are not the parent you want to be when you are sleep deprived.

Sleep training is hard. Even for me. Parenting is hard. But giving your child the ability to sleep well is a gift for everyone in the home.

And the moment it feels hardest… is very often the moment right before it clicks.
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If you’re in that moment right now, second guessing everything and wondering whether to keep going, I can help you create a clear plan and stay the course.

Let's talk about how your family can get better sleep even through challenging milestones.