“Should I become a single mother by choice?”

Jennifer came to me for life coaching to see if she was ready to embark on becoming a single mother by choice. She had her financial ducks in a row, and family support lined up. Her mother had even offered to provide childcare for the first year of the child’s life.

But Jennifer couldn’t help but wonder if she had tried hard enough to find “the one.” She had always imagined having a child with a partner. Would she regret doing it alone? Would single motherhood be too much for her to handle?

This was a familiar theme for me because I went to therapy 14 years ago to make sure I, too, wasn’t making a mistake in choosing to pursue single motherhood. I spent six months trekking to lower Manhattan, always feeling vaguely dissatisfied and like my therapist spent too much our sessions talking when I mostly wanted him to listen.

Jennifer and I started out talking about all the reasons Jennifer wanted a child, and why she wanted one now. As she shared her thoughts, her face lit up and her body became animated.

Jennifer and I finished just one session together with her feeling confident and ready to embark on fertility treatments. She didn’t need to hear my advice. She needed to figure out how to trust her own wisdom. Through our conversation, she also came up with a plan for how to handle possible fear or regret that could arise in the future.

One of the things I love about coaching is that we can make progress very, very quickly. Many times, a client needs only one session, like Jennifer, to make a big decision or process a traumatic event. She didn’t need to tell me about her childhood, or her relationship with her parents. We were able to just dive into the issue and in her case, find her answer in just one hour: yes, she wanted to move ahead with [single] motherhood.

If you are struggling to make a big decision, I invite you to book a  free30-minute life coaching consultation call to find out more about how life coaching can help you make your decision with confidence.

PS I made the decision to move ahead and become a single mother by choice 14 years ago and I’ve never once regretted it. I do occasionally regret spending six months questioning my own judgment, though!