Toddler Waking at Night to Play? Here’s Why (and How to Get Everyone Sleeping Again)

A few weeks ago, a mom posted in a parenting group about her 16-month-old.

​Her daughter was napping for about two hours during the day and sleeping from 8:30 pm to 7:30 am at night.


“Except lately,” she wrote, “she’s waking up around 1 or 2 am, wide awake and wanting to play. We keep the room dark, try rocking her back to sleep, but nothing works. Eventually we bring her into our bed and after a long time, she’ll fall asleep but no one sleeps well.”

“Oh,” she added, “sometimes she falls asleep in the car at 11 am. Otherwise for naps I lie down with her. And at night, I rock her until she’s fully asleep before putting her in the crib. But please don’t tell me to use cry-it-out. I’d rather just lie with her at night for the next couple years of naps and nights than traumatize her.” 

As soon as I read her post, I knew what was going on.

Why Toddlers Wake at Night to Play

From the outside, this toddler’s sleep sounds great. But when you look more closely, the total sleep is low.

The Overtiredness Trap

Let’s do the math:

• At night: 10.5 hours in bed minus a 2-hour waking = 8.5 hours of sleep
  
• Nap: 2 hours
  
• Total: 10.5 hours in 24 hours
  
  

Most toddlers this age need 12–15 hours of total sleep in a 24 hour period.

This toddler is woefully overtired.

And when a child doesn’t get enough sleep, her body produces cortisol, the stress hormone that makes it harder for children to fall and stay asleep.

That “wired but tired” feeling leads to night wakings and middle-of-the-night play sessions.

That late-morning car nap? It’s her body trying to catch up on her massive sleep debt.

The Role of Rocking and Co-Sleeping

Here’s something I didn’t share publicly in that Facebook comment but would unpack in a coaching session:If your toddler always falls asleep while rocking in your arms, that becomes the signal their brain associates with sleep.

When she wakes during the night (which we all do between sleep cycles), she realizes she’s no longer being rocked and doesn’t know how to return to sleep independently.

Bringing her into your bed may seem like the only way to survive the night, but from her point of view, it’s a reward: I wake up, I get cuddles, I get to be close to Mom.

Completely understandable and yet it keeps the unfortunate cycle going.


The Ideal 16-Month-Old Sleep Schedule

At this age, most toddlers thrive on one consistent nap and an early bedtime.

Sample Schedule:

• Wake: 6:30 am
  
• Nap: 12:00–2:00 pm (in the crib, not the car)
  
• Bedtime: 7:00 pm
  = Total of 13.5 hours 
  
  

The earlier bedtime helps prevent overtiredness, which in turn reduces night wakings.

And putting your toddler down awake at bedtime teaches your child how to fall back to sleep independently between sleep cycles, something we adults do without even realizing it.

This is a learned skill, and something that can be gently taught by loving parents. 


Gentle Solutions—No Cry-It-Out Required

You don’t have to leave your child alone to figure it out.

Gentle, evidence-based approaches work beautifully when paired with the right schedule, environment, and routines.

Small adjustments can make a big difference:

• Move bedtime earlier
  
• Keep nap time and routine consistent
  
• Use a predictable bedtime routine
  
• Support independent sleep skills at bedtime and overnight
  
  

When I work one-on-one with families, I customize these steps to your child’s temperament and your parenting style so you get results without guilt. 


The Takeaway

Night wakings aren’t a sign something’s wrong with your child.

They’re a signal that something in the sleep puzzle needs adjusting. With the right rhythm and routines, most toddlers need to sleep 11–12 hours at night and take one solid nap during the day.

You don’t have to choose between connection and sleep. You deserve to have both. And more importantly, so does your toddler. 


Ready to Get Your Toddler Sleeping Through the Night?

If your toddler is waking at night to play, I can help.

Together, we’ll identify what’s causing the wakings and design a plan that works for your family.

Book a consult call to get started and help your toddler (and you!) finally sleep through the night.

Abby Wolfson, CPNP

I’m a Certified Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant.

Through Peaceful Parent Sleep Coaching, I’ve helped hundreds of families around the world teach their children to sleep independently using gentle, evidence-based methods.

I’m also the only pediatric sleep consultant who offers a money back guarantee, because I believe parents deserve peace of mind as much as they deserve sleep.