“We turn the TV on for her when she wakes up at 5 am because we just aren’t ready to face the day yet.”

A former client recently sent me a question about early wakings in her young child and this comment jumped out at me.

But it’s not all that different than what many parents report when they share that they feed their older babies and toddlers back to sleep with milk at 5 am. (I might be guilty of doing this myself sometimes.)

While it makes perfect sense that we do this – anything for just a smidge more sleep! – it also makes perfect sense that our little ones keep on waking up. Because we are rewarding the very behavior we wish to eliminate.

If your child is waking up early for any sort of screen time – iPad, video games, learning apps, etc – and you want to end the early wakings, you have to stop offering screen time before your approved waking time. I suggest using a timer or an OK to Wake clock or some other pre-set notification so that your child isn’t waking you up to ask if it’s time yet. You want a signal that requires zero involvement from you, if it’s going to happen in the slightly-less-early morning. (If it happens after lunch, you probably won’t mind being asked quite as much.) 

If your child is waking up for milk and then going back to sleep, well, you have to stop rewarding that early waking, too. If you want him or her to stop waking up early for milk, that is.

You can either do a gradual wean – reduce by a tiny amount each morning – or go cold turkey. I generally recommend a more gradual approach in babies under year but either approach can work.

I totally get that this will be a painful transition and I am full of sympathy. But your child is unlikely to stop a behavior on his or her own that is rewarding. Sorry!

The other likely contenders for early wakings still exist – a too late bedtime, a too late naptime, a too early bedtime – but regardless of those, rewarding the early waking will surely make it worse.

If your little one is struggling with early wakings, let’s get your family back on track. Schedule a free consult and find out how you can be sleeping peacefully in 2 weeks or less, guaranteed. 

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