Why I Paused Potty Training—And Why I’m So Glad I Tried Again

Short dresses and long shirts are ideal for potty training when you don't want her little one totally nude

A while back, I shared a post about beginning potty training with Valentina at 21 months. We were getting some small wins, I was feeling proud…and also, if I’m honest, I was feeling quite stressed. It was happening more slowly than I hoped plus I didn't know how we would manage potty challenges on our trip. And it was still chilly at home, which made it challenging to keep her undressed.

I also didn't like how quickly I was becoming snappy. I didn’t want to be annoyed at my toddler. And I was definitely tired of cleaning up messes.

So I made the decision to stop. We put potty training on pause, went back to diapers, and I gave myself permission to wait until the timing felt better. Even though I felt a bit disappointed to be "giving up." 

Trying Again After Our Trip: What a Difference a Few Months Makes

After our travels, Valentina was newly two, and I was in a much better headspace. So we gave it another go.

This time? It clicked.

She had wins from the very first day. And while we still had some accidents (usually when she was wearing pants), the learning curve was so much shorter. Yesterday marked two full weeks—and she didn’t have a single accident all day. Even when she was wearing pants.

If you’ve ever wondered whether an “unsuccessful” attempt is a waste of time: it’s not. That first round absolutely laid the foundation for this one. She remembered. Her body remembered. We were both more ready.

What Made This Round So Much Easier

Here’s what helped the second time around succeed:

• No underwear at home: The method I followed recommends going without undies for the first month, and it’s been a game changer. Bare bottoms at home + loose pants when out = way easier for her to recognize the sensation in her body.
  
  
• No pull ups. Pull ups are the same thing as diapers. Toddlers can't feel the difference when the pull up is on. And wearing a diaper (or pull up) prevents your child from feeling wetness and especially, the feeling of pee or poop leaving the body. 
  
  
• Accepting accidents as part of the process: This was huge. The more I resisted the mess, the more frustrated I got. Once I shifted to expecting and even welcoming the accidents as learning opportunities, everything got easier.
  
  
• Prepping the space: We rolled up our rugs this round and embraced our tile floors. I wasn’t worried about messes, which made me so much more relaxed.
  
  
• Doing it during a quiet season: With fewer obligations, I had the bandwidth to pay attention and stay consistent without getting irritable with my little one.
  
  
• Choosing warm weather: It was nice not to worry about her getting cold while running around bottomless. (Bonus: being able to see her stomach muscles tense gave helpful clues about what was coming.)
  
  
• Getting some support: With my older two, I potty trained mostly alone during the week with just a nanny's help. It’s doable—but exhausting. Even having an older sibling around this time, never mind a partner, made a difference. 
  
  
• Celebration, not rewards: I learned with my oldest that even simple rewards (like stickers) added pressure. With Valentina, I focused on enthusiastic clapping, cheers, and genuine delight. It kept the vibe fun and low-pressure. And now she gets excited when I have a potty success too, which is pretty adorable. 
  
  

“Should I Wait Until Age 3?”Some parents prefer to wait until their child is 3 or even 3.5, and that can work beautifully too. But here’s why I’m glad I didn’t:

1. The cost and hassle of diapers: Another 18 months of buying diapers, carrying the diaper bag, and cleaning poop off a preschooler? Diapers are expensive. No thanks.
   
   
2. Avoiding diaper dependency for poop: I’ve seen kids who were otherwise potty trained still demand a diaper to poop for years after potty training. This can become a battle—and even lead to medical consequences of chronic constipation from refusing to poop. Not something I wanted to navigate if I could help it.
   
   

The Takeaway

If you’re considering when to start—here’s what I’d say:

Watch your child. But also, watch yourself. If you’re getting tense or frustrated, that matters. If the timing feels off, it probably is. And if you need to pause and come back later, that’s okay. You’re not failing—you’re being smart and responsive.

Potty training is a process, not a single moment. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is give it space, then return with a calmer heart and a clearer plan.

I’m so glad we waited. And even happier to be diaper-free—travel potty and all.

If you'd like help potty training your child, I'm here to help. Schedule a free consult for parent coaching here. (I can also help with other developmental challenges and supporting you as a parent, too.)