"Why Is My Toddler Waking Up At Night To Play?"

A mom recently posted in a parenting group about her 16-month-old. Her toddler was taking a solid 2–2.5 hour nap during the day, sleeping from about 8:30 pm to 7:30 am at night—yet suddenly waking at 1–3 am, full of energy and ready to play.

She explained that they keep the room dark and try rocking her back to sleep, but it doesn’t work. Eventually, she ends up in their bed and after a long stretch, finally falls asleep again. No one, of course, sleeps well.

This mom suspected the issue was "split nights" caused too much daytime sleep. 

She added two more details as a postscript that are very important:

• Sometimes the toddler falls asleep in the car around 11 am.
• She’s unwilling to use “cry it out.”
  
  

Here's why I told her I disagree. And what I would add if she was my client. 

1. The Overtiredness Factor

It might sound surprising, but her toddler is actually not getting enough total sleep.

Here’s the math:

• At night: 10.5 hours in bed, minus a 2-hour waking = 8.5 hours of actual sleep.
• Daytime nap: 2 hours.
• Total: 10.5 hours of sleep in 24 hours.

For a 16-month-old, that’s very low. Most need 12–14 hours in a 24-hour period.

When toddlers (and other young children) are overtired, their bodies release cortisol (a stress hormone), which makes them wired and restless. That “second wind” is what leads to night wakings and middle-of-the-night play sessions in this situation. 

2. Sleep Associations Matter

This is what I didn’t say in the FB thread.

If your toddler is always rocked to sleep, she may come to rely on rocking as the only way to drift off. So when they wake at 1 am (as all humans do, briefly, between sleep cycles), she struggles to get back to sleep on her own.

And then the cortisol that I mentioned earlier makes rocking them back to sleep more challenging. 

Bringing her into the parents' bed can make this even trickier. Even though it’s meant to help, from your toddler’s point of view, it’s a reward: “I wake up, I get rocked, I get snuggles, maybe even some middle-of-the-night play.” It’s reinforcing the exact pattern you want to stop.

3. The Role of Schedule

That mid-morning car nap is a red flag. It suggests she’s tired earlier than expected, likely because her nights aren’t restorative enough. Even though her mom thinks she's getting plenty of sleep. And sleeping in the late morning is not a biologically ideal time,  nor is sleep in the car versus in the crib, which means it's likely not a very restorative sleep. Leading to even more overtiredness. 

For most toddlers around 16 months, the ideal schedule looks something like:
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• Wake: 6:30–7:00 am
• Nap: 12:00–2:00 pm (in the crib, not the car)
• Bedtime: 7:00–7:30 pm
  
  

That earlier bedtime can feel counterintuitive. But when children are overtired, pushing bedtime later only backfires.

This schedule will mean avoiding the car (stroller, baby carrier) in the late morning until the overtired toddler catches up on sleep debt. But that inconvenience is well worth it when you consider uninterrupted nights of sleep. 

4. What I’d Recommend If She Was My Client

Every family is different, and no, you absolutely don’t need to use “cry it out” if that doesn’t feel right.

But the basic steps I’d walk a client through would be:

• Shift bedtime earlier.
  
• Keep naps consistent around 12 pm. (Avoid the car in the late morning!)
  
• Create a soothing, predictable bedtime routine.
  
• And most importantly: put your toddler down awake, so they learn to fall asleep on their own at bedtime and during the night. 
• Use a soothing method at night that teaches the child had to go back to sleep independently rather than the parent soothing the child back to sleep. (Again, this doesn't need to be cry-it-out).

The Big Picture

Night wakings are a symptom of overtiredness, misaligned schedules, or sleep associations that no longer work as a child grows.

The good news? With the right tweaks, toddlers this age are fully capable of sleeping 11–12 hours at night and taking one solid nap during the day.

If you’re nodding along because your toddler also wakes up in the wee hours ready to party, know that it’s fixable. And you don’t have to do it alone. Schedule a free consultation and get your questions answered about how this could work for your family.