You Fixed Sleep. Why Do You Still Feel So Exhausted?

When I first became a mom, I thought exhaustion was mostly about sleep.

And to be fair, sometimes it is.

A newborn feeding every two hours all night long, a fearful toddler waking you three times every night after yet another bad dream, that level of sleep deprivation affects everything. It makes you feel like you are living life underwater.

But over the years, both personally and professionally, I’ve noticed something important:

Many of us are still deeply, profoundly exhausted even after our children start sleeping well.

We thought sleep was the problem.

But it’s not. Or at least, not the only one.

We’re exhausted because we are carrying not only careers and parenting, but also the invisible responsibility of keeping everything running.

Remembering everything.

Managing everything.

Anticipating everything.

The birthday parties. The dentist appointments. Teacher Appreciation Week at school. Wear-your-pajamas-to-school day. Birthdays, not just for your child but your extended family and your in laws too.

Holding everything together.

We are high functioning.

Successful.

Attentive mothers.

Reliable friends.

The person everyone else depends on.

Which means our exhaustion often goes unnoticed, even by ourselves. We get used to functioning on adrenaline and caffeine.

I say “we” because I know this feeling personally too.

There have been seasons where it felt impossible to fully succeed at the work I love while also being the loving, steady, present parent I want to be. This has been true in the past as a single mother by choice and also more recently as a partnered person. As a nurse practitioner previously and now as a child sleep and parent coach.

I love my work.

I love my children.

But trying to succeed at both, by my own high standards of success, often feels impossible.

I get the required tasks done. I write the emails and order the birthday gift and schedule the plumber.

I even haul myself out of bed many mornings to exercise.

But then I wonder why I crash on Friday night, eating semi stale Goldfish and doomscrolling for hours instead of going to bed when I know I desperately need the sleep. 

As if the two are unrelated.

We tell ourselves:

“This is just a busy season.”

“I just need to get more organized.”

“Once things calm down, I’ll finally rest.”

But the calm phase never arrives.

Because of the self-imposed pressure to hold everything together all the time.

This is the reason I expanded my work beyond sleep coaching.

I still love helping families sleep better.

Better sleep changes lives.

But I also love helping women feel less exhausted after sleep has improved.

Helping them build lives that feel more sustainable and enjoyable.

Because I’ve done the work myself.

And being able to enjoy my life and my children and still feel successful is like entering the land of Oz. I can see in color again.

Before it’s too late.

While my children are still home and still want to spend time with me.

Thanks to coaching, I’m not endlessly focused on my problems or my past. I’m focused on practical solutions that actually help. Often in much smaller and simpler ways than people expect.

No bubble baths required. I’m too impatient for them anyway.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to connect.

​You can book a free session and find out what it could look like to feel calmer, more present, and more able to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to create.