 Yesterday at my 27 week prenatal visit, the doctor told me my baby is measuring small, only in the 4th percentile.
Me being me, I immediately started freaking out. I used to be a NICU nurse so I have seen plenty of premature babies with “intrauterine growth restriction.” It can be a very long and arduous journey for families. And more research gave me even more reasons to worry. The doctor doesn’t yet have an explanation for why she’s small. On the ride home from the appointment, unrelatedly, I was listening to a business coaching podcast, and the host said, “numbers in your checking account don’t cause anxiety.” It snapped me back to reality in a surprising way. My baby being in the 4th percentile isn’t making me feel anxious. It’s my thoughts about her being in the fourth percentile that are making me feel anxious. Lots of people would be anxious about her percentile, but not everyone would be equally anxious. My knowledge of the NICU increases my anxiety. Some people might think, “well, this is her first worrisome measurement; let’s wait another two weeks and see what happens.” Someone else, at the other end of the extreme, might have an absolute meltdown over the news. None of these reactions are right or wrong; they just prove that the facts, themselves, don’t cause emotions. In my case, just remembering this actually lowered my anxiety a bit. I’m still worried, and planning to research the issue, and get the bloodwork he recommends and take the vitamins and do the biweekly Doppler studies… but I am remembering it’s my choice to freak out or not. And freaking out doesn’t really serve me or anyone else so maybe… I’ll hold off a bit longer on freaking out. Also, he doesn’t want to see me again for another two weeks and one could argue that means he isn’t that worried. I mean, he could’ve sent me straight to Labor and Delivery and he didn’t. I think – now that I think about it – that he actually told me not to worry yet. Some people might actually take that advice. I’ll let you know how I do. PS It's been two days since I wrote this post and my anxiety has waxed and waned (currently at a moderately low level that is allowing me to function pretty well). More evidence that it's not the facts that cause my anxiety, since the facts haven't changed since my appointment two days. PPS The goal with self-coaching here is not to stop worrying completely. I want to worry, a bit, because it's making me get my blood work done, order the fish oil, and eat more protein and fat. But huge swirling anxiety just paralyzes me and prevents me from functioning in life. That's obviously not helpful. Self-coaching helps me manage my anxiety so that I continue to move through life. It creates awareness and helps me move through the anxiety, without resisting it, so that I can get on with things. PPPS If you'd like help managing your own big emotions, schedule a free consult for life coaching and experience a transformation in just one hour, guaranteed. If you love it, continue on at $579/month for weekly sessions. If you don't love it, no worries, no sales pressure. I'll be grateful to have had the experience of coaching you either way.
0 Comments
 A coach can push you, and encourage you, in just the right ways to help you experience transformational growth. I’m a big fan of asking for help. I figure it’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit that we aren’t good at everything and need help. We all need help with something. I hired a coach in December and it’s life-changing. She is working with me on multiple levels: parenting, anxiety, growing my business. And she’s not just helping me grow as a person, as a mother, as an entrepreneur, she’s also helping me think consciously about what kind of growth I want to achieve. She’s taught me to recognize, and question, the unconscious thoughts I am thinking that are shaping my life in negative ways. In my business self-coaching program, the coach suggests considering the cost of not coaching. If I didn’t get business coaching, how much income would I not earn as a result? If a client got relationship coaching, that could save her marriage. How much would that be worth to her? If you got weight loss coaching, you could prevent a future heart attack or diabetic amputation. How do you put a dollar value on adding healthy, productive years to your life? And if you are a parent who is sleep-deprived and living with an overtired child, what is the cost to you of reducing your enjoyment of your parenting, your job, your spouse or friends? You work so hard to have this beautiful, perfect family and now you aren’t reaping all the benefits you deserve. Have you considered the health impact of cortisol, the stress hormone your body produces when we are tired, on your body? Cortisol leads to increased weight gain, depression, heart disease and other chronic diseases. I experienced weight loss, improved memory (I seriously used to wonder if I was experiencing early dementia because I forgot words so often), more energy, improved sleep, and better focus when I was able to decrease my own cortisol levels. People hire personal trainers to make them show up to the gym and maximize their time there. Why not hire someone to strategize, reassure, and cheerlead you across the finish line to achieving great sleep and truly enjoying your family? Unlike a book or online course, a coach can help you troubleshoot the specific circumstances that arise each day with your unique child. If you are ready to make 2021 the year you get your family well-rested, so that you can truly enjoy your time together, set up a free consult and find out more about the process. The hardest part is taking the first step. |
AuthorAbby Wolfson is a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified child sleep consultant and certified life coach for parents. She divides her time between Brooklyn, NY and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Archives
October 2024
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed