If you’ve ever Googled “why is my baby suddenly not sleeping?” at 2 a.m., you’re not alone. You’ve probably heard of the infamous 4-month sleep regression. But what about the others? Sleep regressions commonly occur at 9 months, 12 months, 18 months, and again around 3 years old (or whenever a child transitions from a crib to an open bed).
What is a Sleep Regression? A sleep regression is a period when a baby or toddler, who was previously sleeping well, suddenly starts waking up frequently, resisting naps, or struggling with bedtime—often out of nowhere. Unlike teething, there’s no obvious physical cause, like pain or illness. (And honestly? Most sleep disruptions blamed on teething aren’t actually caused by erupting teeth.) Instead, sleep regressions typically happen when a child is experiencing a major developmental leap. At 4 months, babies’ sleep shifts from a newborn pattern (where they can doze off in a noisy room) to a more structured sleep cycle that includes REM sleep. Their increased social awareness means they now have a serious case of FOMO—so you may need to take them to a quiet space to eat and sleep. Sleep Regressions by Age 4-Month Sleep Regression What’s happening: Babies transition from newborn sleep cycles to more adult-like sleep patterns, waking up more frequently between cycles. How to handle it: This is a great time to establish strong sleep habits and routines. Teaching independent sleep skills can help them settle between cycles. 9-Month Sleep Regression What’s happening: Around this time, babies develop separation anxiety, start crawling, and pull up to stand. Many wake up to practice their new skills or check that you’re still nearby. How to handle it: Give plenty of practice time during the day for new motor skills, provide extra reassurance, and reinforce a consistent bedtime routine. 12-Month Sleep Regression What’s happening: Taking those first steps and the transition to fewer naps can cause night wakings or nap strikes. Some toddlers also begin testing boundaries. How to handle it: Stick to a predictable schedule and avoid dropping naps too soon. Encourage soothing techniques that don’t involve rocking or feeding to sleep. 18-Month Sleep Regression What’s happening: Toddlers develop their own agendas, test boundaries, and experience a surge in independence. Many are also running and jumping. How to handle it: Stay consistent with bedtime rules, offer extra reassurance, and avoid making big sleep changes during this phase. Crib-to-Bed Transition Sleep Regression What’s happening: Moving from the security of a crib to the freedom of a bed can be overwhelming. Toddlers often get out of bed repeatedly, test limits, or struggle with falling asleep without the familiar crib enclosure. How to handle it: If you haven’t transitioned yet, toddler-proof the room first. Use a doorknob cover to keep them from leaving at will, and never introduce the habit of lying down with them to fall asleep—unless you want a long-term bed partner! How to Get Through a Sleep Regression If you haven’t sleep trained yet, now is the perfect time. Counterintuitively, sleep training actually builds confidence. When a child knows they can fall asleep and stay asleep on their own, they feel secure in the knowledge that you’ll come back when sleep time is done. For babies who rely on an adult to sleep, sleep becomes an anxiety-ridden experience because they have no control over their rest. If you’ve already sleep trained, the good news is that sleep regressions tend to be shorter and less severe. If your child suddenly starts waking up at night, first check for physical discomfort—illness, temperature issues, or a dirty diaper. If everything checks out, reinforce your existing sleep training method (whether CIO, timed checks, or the chair method). The key is consistency. Most kids return to great sleep in just 2-3 nights. PS If your family is stuck in a sleep regression, you’re not alone. I can help. Set up a free consult, and let’s get you unstuck in two weeks or less--guaranteed.
0 Comments
That depends on your preference! There are two main approaches, and each has its pros and cons. Let’s break them down.
Option 1: Potty Training at Age 3+ If you wait until age 3 or later, the process will probably go faster—sometimes as quickly as one day, but more commonly around three days. By this age, children have greater bodily awareness, which makes it easier for them to recognize when they need to go. If you have a 3-year-old still in diapers, you’ve likely noticed they have a favorite place to poop and may even seek privacy. (In our nanny share, the other child liked to go behind the recliner to poop.) You can take advantage of that by taking your child immediately to the bathroom when you see them head to their favorite pooping spot. Pros of Potty Training at 3+ Years: ✅ Stronger body awareness makes the process go more quickly ✅ Less cleanup overall ✅ More independence, more quickly, because a three-year-old may be able to pull down and up their pants themselves. Cons of Potty Training at 3+ Years: ❌ More likely to resist potty training if they don’t want to do it (hello, power struggles!) ❌ Refusing to poop on the potty is common at this age and can last for weeks or months ❌ No amount of stickers, M&Ms, or screen time bribes will work if they don't want to cooperate (lack of cooperation is much less common with toddlers) ❌ You may end up paying for an extra year and a half of diapers ❌ You will be diapering a much larger kid in the meantime, which may have a certain ick factor Option 2: Potty Training Between 21-28+ Months This is the approach I’ve chosen for all three of my kids. It takes a bit longer—usually about a week—but it avoids the battles that can come with training a strong-willed 3+-year-old. Pros of Early Potty Training (21-28 Months): ✅ Toddlers are generally more compliant and eager to please ✅ Less resistance = fewer power struggles ✅ Simple rewards (like clapping) are enough motivation ✅ Significant cost savings on diapers ✅ More environmentally friendly Cons of Early Potty Training (21-28 Months): ❌ Takes longer than training at age 3+ because body awareness is still developing ❌ Requires patience and a zen approach to cleaning up messes Common Potty Training Myths & Realities Some parents believe diapers are easier than dealing with the potty, but I haven’t found that to be true. Yes, it’s inconvenient for about a month—right now, we don’t go far without a potty, and we’ve rolled up our rugs to make cleanup easier. But the long-term benefits are worth it to me, because I dislike the cost and ickiness of changing diapers after the first year of life. Also, I have never (knock wood!) had to deal with potty poop refusal and that can take a lot longer than a week to resolve, months, sometimes. Need Help with Potty Training? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in a cycle of accidents, or just don’t know where to start, I can help (whether you are potty training early, late, or somewhere in between). Book a free parent coaching consult, and let’s make potty training easier for you and your child! Many parents worry that sleep training means choosing between their own needs and their child’s. They fear their child will feel abandoned, anxious, or even traumatized. But the truth is, sleep training—when done with love and consistency—can actually strengthen your bond with your child while giving you both the rest you need.
A Parent’s Journey: From Guilt to Confidence When Jen first started sleep training her daughter, Ruth, she struggled with intense guilt. Every night, she would lie down with Ruth until she fell asleep. Then, she’d carefully sneak out to get a few things done before Ruth inevitably woke up, needing her presence again. Most nights, Jen ended up sleeping beside her daughter just to keep the peace, sacrificing both her rest and her evening downtime. She worried that by changing their bedtime routine, she was somehow failing Ruth—that she would feel abandoned or unsafe. But as we worked together, Jen realized that what her daughter really needed wasn’t constant presence, but clear, loving boundaries that helped her feel secure. The Power of Boundaries at Bedtime By holding firm yet compassionate boundaries and gradually withdrawing her presence, Jen saw an incredible shift—not just in Ruth’s sleep, but in their entire relationship. ✅ Ruth became more confident and secure. Knowing her parents were in charge and that bedtime followed a predictable pattern actually reduced her anxiety. ✅ She was happier during the day. With better quality sleep, Ruth was noticeably more cheerful, patient, and resilient. ✅ Jen felt like a better parent. She finally had time in the evening to relax with her husband and get restful sleep in her own bed, making her more present and engaged during the day. Why Sleep Training is a Gift to Your Child Sleep training isn’t about abandoning your child—it’s about teaching them a skill that benefits their emotional well-being. When children know what to expect at bedtime and trust that their parents will be consistent, they feel safer. They also get the deep, restorative sleep they need for healthy emotional regulation, cognitive development, and overall happiness. Many parents believe that setting sleep boundaries means prioritizing themselves over their child. But in reality, it’s a win-win. Well-rested parents are more patient, loving, and available, while well-rested children are happier, more secure, and better able to handle challenges during the day. Sleep Training Lessons Apply to Parenting Beyond Bedtime One of the biggest takeaways from sleep training is how valuable clear, loving boundaries are in parenting as a whole. When children understand that their parents set expectations and follow through with consistency, it leads to fewer power struggles and more connection throughout the day. If you’re ready for more ease and joy in your relationship with your child, schedule a free consult for sleep coaching. And if you’ve already sleep trained but are still facing power struggles, parent coaching can help you apply these same boundary-setting principles to other areas of your child’s life. Let’s work together to create a well-rested, happy home for both you and your child. When it comes to sleep training, what worked for one child doesn’t always work for another, even within the same family. I recently worked with a family who came to me exhausted and frustrated. Their seven-month-old, Molly, was waking multiple times a night, including at least two full feedings. They had successfully used a timed check method with their older child, but this approach just wasn’t doing the trick for their younger daughter.
The Initial Sleep Struggles Before making any changes, her parents logged Molly's night wakings. Here’s what her first night looked like:
This is a classic example of how each baby has unique sleep needs and associations. Here are a few key reasons the timed check method wasn’t effective:
We developed a gradual weaning plan for Molly as well as a sleep training plan, but much to her parents' surprise, after some sleep training at bedtime, Molly started sleeping through the night within a few nights! We never even started the gradual weaning plan. It turned out that night feedings were actually a symptom of her sleep problems. Once we solved the problem of timing (naps and bedtime) and gave her a chance to learn to self-soothe, Molly night-weaned without any assistance at all. The Results Within a few nights, Molly was sleeping 10-12 hours with no night feedings. The parents, who had been struggling with exhaustion, were finally getting the rest they needed, too. The Takeaway It's amazing how we think that lots of feedings can prevent night wakings, but sometimes it's the opposite. If your sleep training method isn’t working, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it just means your baby needs a different approach. Each child is unique, and finding the right strategy requires understanding their sleep habits, associations, and individual temperament. If you’re struggling with sleep training, I’d love to help you create a customized plan that works for your family. Book a free discovery call today and let’s get you and your baby the sleep you both need! Last night, I had a conversation with a client that brought up a concern so many parents share when considering sleep training.
She’s using a high-parental-involvement method where she stays in the room while her toddler falls asleep and during any night wakings. This feels comfortable to her right now because she grew up in a culture where families often slept in the same room. However, she’s starting to feel uneasy about the next step in the plan, which involves sitting outside her child’s room as they learn to fall asleep more independently. Here’s what she asked: “I feel like: is she scared of being alone at night? We (adults) sleep with someone else… so is it so unreasonable for her to want that? I don’t want her to feel scared or abandoned when sleeping. I’ve been advised a lot about how it’s normal to feel anxious when sleeping and just because children go to sleep independently or stop crying, 'lose the response of crying,' during the cry-it-out method doesn’t mean they aren’t anxious. Just that they feel scared and keep it within themselves.” First, I want to acknowledge how beautifully she expressed this fear—a fear many parents share. The idea of leaving your child alone at night can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to balance your child’s emotional needs with the realities of family life and your own well-being. Let’s take a step back and look at this situation more closely. Before sleep training, this parent would lie down with her child until she fell asleep, then either stay the whole night or come back at the first waking to spend the rest of the night together. Since starting sleep training three nights ago, the child has gone from multiple night wakings to zero or one—all while the parent remains in the room, sitting in a chair rather than lying down. This is already a huge step forward for both parent and child, and it’s been achieved with a high level of parental presence and comfort. Will My Child Feel Abandoned If I Leave the Room? This is such an important question, and it speaks to every parent’s instinct to protect their child. From my experience—both as a parent and as someone who’s worked with hundreds of families—the answer is no. Children who are sleep trained using loving, consistent methods do not feel abandoned. Instead, they learn a new skill: how to fall asleep independently, knowing their parent is nearby and always there if they truly need support. When the time comes for this client to move outside her child’s room, the transition will happen gradually and with reassurance. She’ll check in every few minutes, so her child will never feel “forgotten.” And while it’s natural for a toddler to protest change, what’s important is the parent’s consistency and loving presence—even if that presence is just outside the door. The Truth About Cry-It-Out (CIO) It’s worth noting that while many parents are hesitant about the cry-it-out method, it isn’t the only option. In fact, I don’t push families to use CIO unless they feel it’s right for them. In this client’s case, her method involves staying close and offering comfort as her child adjusts to new sleep patterns. But for parents who do choose CIO, research shows it’s not harmful when used in loving, supportive homes. I’ve used CIO with my own children when other methods didn’t work for them. For example, my oldest child found it more upsetting when I returned every few minutes. Switching to CIO resulted in less overall stress for her, and she quickly learned to sleep through the night. Today, all three of my children love to sleep, go to bed happily, and wake up refreshed. Our bond is as strong as ever, and I’ve seen the same outcome in countless families I’ve worked with. What Does the Research Say About Sleep Training? When I became certified as a child sleep consultant, I did a deep dive into the literature to see if there was any evidence of trauma from sleep training. I couldn’t find a single study that showed psychological harm in children from loving, consistent sleep training methods. The studies that did report damage were based on extreme cases, such as permanent separation from caregivers (as seen in rat studies) or neglectful environments like Romanian orphanages. Emily Oster, the author of Crib Sheet and Expecting Better, reviewed the data as well and found the same results: “The data shows that sleep training does not lead to long- or short-term attachment issues. And for most babies, it will lead to longer sleep stretches. It has also been shown to improve mood and mental health for parents.” This means you don’t have to choose between healthy sleep and healthy attachment—they actually go hand in hand. That's because better sleep often strengthens the bond between parent and child because everyone is more rested, present, and patient during the day. You’re Not Alone If you’re feeling unsure about sleep training or worried about what it means for your child’s emotional health, know that you’re not alone. These fears are normal, and they’re a sign of how much you care about your child. But with a method that feels right for your family and a consistent, loving approach, your child can learn to sleep confidently and independently, secure in your love for them. Ready to Take the First Step? If you’re dreaming of better sleep for your family but feel unsure about how to start—or how to stay consistent—I’m here to help. Schedule a free consultation today, and we can create a personalized plan that works for your family. In two weeks or less, you can have the well-rested family you’ve been hoping for—guaranteed. When Should You Switch Your Toddler to One Nap a Day? (Here’s What I’m Doing with My Own Toddler)1/15/2025 If you’re wondering when to transition your toddler to one nap a day, let me share what’s happening with my 20-month-old, Valentina. Every child is different, but maybe our journey will resonate with you—or at least give you a place to start. The Typical Timeline for Nap Transitions Most toddlers switch from two naps to one somewhere between 15 and 18 months, though the range can stretch from 12 to 21 months. Since my kids have always leaned toward higher sleep needs, it didn’t surprise me that Valentina hasn’t fully switched yet. But even though most kids follow this general timeline, every toddler’s journey is unique. And like most nap transitions, the process is rarely smooth or linear (because, of course, toddlers love to keep us guessing). Why Valentina Hasn’t Switched Yet Two weeks ago, we were at the beach, and Valentina thrived on a one-nap-a-day schedule—probably because she had the excitement of siblings and cousins to keep her busy. I thought, This is it! She’s ready! But as soon as we came home, everything changed. Without all the stimulation, mornings felt so long for her. By mid-morning, she was cranky, exhausted, and miserable—making it clear that pushing her to one nap wasn’t the right move just yet. We’ve even had a split night (you know, those nights when your toddler wakes up at 2 a.m., ready to party). That’s usually a sign of too much daytime sleep, which is why I initially wondered if maybe she should go to one nap a day. But the resulting morning crankiness made it clear that this wasn't quite right. But… here’s the catch. I can hear her from my office after her first nap, and she’s cranky when I wake her up. It’s no fun for anyone, and it’s got me thinking: could tweaking her nap schedule help? My Nap Transition Strategy Here’s what I’m trying with Valentina—and what I recommend to parents who are navigating this tricky transition: 1. Move the First Nap Earlier This one is key. The first nap doesn’t have to happen when your toddler looks tired. In fact, they shouldn’t be very tired—it’s better if they’re just starting to yawn or slow down. For example, we’ve been putting Valentina down around 9 a.m., but I’m moving it to 8:30 a.m. That feels early, but most days I start to see yawns by then. The goal here is to put her down when she's just a little bit tired. Which can feel strange! 2. Cap the Morning Nap If you’re still doing two naps, try capping the first nap to starting at 90 minutes and reducing by 15 minute increments until you find a time that works. As your child grows, you'll have to keep shortening the time. For Valentina, I’ve been letting her sleep 60-75 minutes., but I’m starting to think that’s too long for her now. Every child is different, so experiment with timing to see what works for yours. 3. Adjust the Second Nap Once the first nap is shortened, shift the second nap slightly later, but not so late that it interferes with bedtime. For most toddlers, the sweet spot is around 1–2:00 p.m., but don’t let the nap go past 4 p.m. 4. Be Flexible Here’s a big takeaway: your toddler doesn’t have to follow the same nap schedule every day. At daycare, most toddlers take just one nap because that’s the schedule. At home, you can keep two naps on the table for days when they're looking tired before mid-morning. This kind of flexibility might feel chaotic, but it’s normal during transitions. You’ll know your child is ready to drop to one nap completely when they start consistently skipping one of the naps—usually the afternoon one. Signs Your Toddler is Ready for One Nap Here’s what to look for:
Nap Transition Tips
You’re Not Alone Nap transitions—from 3-to-2, 2-to-1, or even 1-to-0—are some of the toughest parts of baby sleep. If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, don’t stress. It’s normal! And if you’d like personalized help, schedule a free consult—we’ll create a plan tailored to your little one’s needs. Parenting is a journey, and nap transitions are just one of the many milestones. You’ve got this! Last night was one for the books. My daughter, Valentina, who’s newly 20 months old, decided sleep was optional from 12 to 4 a.m. Yep, the sleep consultant’s child was wide awake. The irony isn’t lost on me.
It wasn’t her typical wake-up, either. Every few minutes, she’d let out a single cry—just one—and then go silent. This went on for over an hour. Finally, I went into her room to investigate. I figured maybe she was too warm since she was wearing a fleece sweater (it’s freezing here in San Miguel, and we don’t have central heating). Removing it helped briefly, but soon enough, the crying resumed. Next, I enlisted my partner (who managed to sleep through most of the commotion) to check her diaper. Nothing. By 2 a.m., desperation set in, and I broke one of my own rules—I brought her into our bed. Shh, don’t tell anyone! We’ve bedshared a couple of times recently while traveling, but only for short stretches and only because she’s older now. (For the record, I don’t recommend this with infants!) She tried to settle, bless her heart. But “trying” involved flopping onto me every few minutes like a tiny gymnast, then flopping back into the middle of the bed, followed by some delighted babbling. Needless to say, neither of us was sleeping. (Unbelievably, my partner had no trouble snoozing through most of this.) So back to the crib she went. Same story: intermittent cries, no resolution. And the cries were starting to escalate. At 4 a.m., I caved and gave her some milk. I’ll admit, I don’t recommend that either, but at that point, I was running on fumes. What Happened Here? In hindsight, I’m pretty sure this was a classic case of a “split night.” Split nights happen when a child gets too much daytime sleep, disrupting their nighttime rest. Unlike waking due to hunger, bad dreams, or separation anxiety, split nights often involve a child who’s perfectly content being awake—sometimes even ready to party if given the chance. Here’s what likely led to our split night: Valentina is transitioning from two naps to one, which means her nap schedule is still in flux. Yesterday, her first nap started late, pushing her second nap too close to bedtime. She fell asleep easily at bedtime but had this prolonged, bizarre waking in the middle of the night. The Game Plan To course-correct, we let her sleep in until 7:30 a.m. today (when she woke up naturally) and skipped the morning nap entirely. Normally, she’d be cranky by 9:30 a.m., but thankfully, she wasn’t. She powered through, increasingly bleary-eyed, until 12 p.m., when she went down for a single, mid-day nap. Fingers crossed this helps us all get a better night’s sleep tonight. What About Your Sleepless Nights? If your little one is pulling their own version of Valentina’s split night (or has any other sleep challenge keeping you up), I’m here to help. Let’s figure out what’s going on and create a plan that works for your family. Schedule a free consult today, and I promise you’ll be sleeping soundly within two weeks—guaranteed. Click here to book your free consult. Back in late September, I got this message from Melanie. :
“I’m a solo mom, breastfeeding and cosleeping. Daughter has never been a good sleeper, always fights sleep and needs lots of support to sleep. Lately is fighting naps big time and taking an hour to fall asleep at night. Many many wakes in the night to latch or nurse. I’ve done all the things. I am frustrated, tired and feeling like a failure! Melanie had a lot of concerns about sleep training. She was worried her daughter might feel traumatized or abandoned by sleep training. It was extremely hard for her to tolerate the sound of her 13 month old daughter crying. Yet as a busy surgeon and no overnight support at home, she also felt like she couldn’t continue with the way things were. Melanie decided to purchase some life coaching sessions so that we could work through some of her sleep training anxiety prior to implementing sleep training. We also messaged many times via WhatsApp -- one of the perks of working with me (unlimited daytime and evening texting -- you're never alone in sleep training!) Finally the big night rolled around. Imagine her surprise when on the first night, she tucked little Molly into her crib in the pitch black, wide awake, for the first time in her life, and Molly cried for a grand total of – wait for it – 3 minutes! Melanie never even needed to do a single timed check that she had been planning on because Molly didn’t cry long enough. Melanie messaged me about 2 hours after bedtime, “I just kind of don’t understand how she can be adapting to this huge change (different room, different bed, no mom, no milk, total darkness) so seemlessly???” And in the morning, “Well I can’t believe this is really real life but besides 3 quick wakeups each hour to look around, there were no tears or wakeups that I saw for the rest of the night! I slept from 11-6 uninterrupted!!! She is still asleep and I’m about to wake her up at 715 am. I’m speechless!” Molly never cried again at bedtime. Naps, however, were a different story. She really, really struggled to lengthen naps past 30-45 minutes. We went back and forth between one and two naps and although she was young for it at 13 months, I figured she would do best with one nap a day and her mom agreed. But Molly surprised us again! After two weeks of nap training and truly excellent night time sleep, she settled back into two naps a day, getting roughly 1.5-2 hours of daytime per day! It seemed she needed to catch up on sleep debt before she could nap to her highest ability. Six weeks later, here’s what her mom has to say about Molly’s sleep journey. “She’s very communicative these days with very clear head nods and sometimes a yes so I ask her “are you ready for a nap?” or if it’s bedtime I ask her, “ are you ready for a bath?” (start of bedtime routine). She says yes or nods her head. We wave and say bye bye to the dogs downstairs -- it’s so cute. And she even turns on her sound machine in her bedroom and then she picks out a book and usually wants to read it twice but sometimes she’s clearly ready to sleep and for me to leave after only one reading. It’s pretty remarkable. Seriously it’s hard to believe where we started just 6 weeks ago and where we are now. My house is so much more organized, I have time to eat, have a glass of wine, relax, watch Netflix, give my dogs some baby free attention, make a phone call - now that I have this time back it’s hard to believe I did without it for 13.5 months! Thank you!!!” I love getting messages like Melanie’s! I would never say that only 3 minutes of crying at night is typical for night one. But what is true is that you never know if your child will struggle to sleep independently or if they’ve been waiting impatiently for their opportunity to do so. Many babies and toddlers who are fussy and clingy in the evenings are actually just exhausted and need to be alone to sleep deeply. Consider that this might be true for your child! What is certainly true – in my experience with almost 500 sleep training families – is that babies, no matter how well-loved they are, are happier and healthier when they are getting the sleep their little bodies need. When you are hesitating about sleep training your little one, try to remember this! PS If you have been hesitating, please schedule a free consult to get all your questions answered about sleep training and make your dreams of a well-rested family a reality. The end of daylight savings time in the United States happens this coming Sunday at 2 am.
I’ve always recommended that parents start, ideally, transitioning their kids four days ahead of the end of daylight savings time. The challenge is that it’s complicated to remember to transition all naps, meals and bedtime every day for 4 days in a row. So here’s a different approach, presented to me by fellow sleep consultant, Nichole Levy. She says that day-by-day approaches rarely work because children simply don’t notice and accommodate gradual changes. She prefers to either a) do nothing and just go by the new times when Sunday rolls around, b) split the transition over 2 days (half an hour per day), or c) put your child to bed at the regular time on Saturday but then wait until the new, correct time the following day to get them up. So most likely, your child will wait an hour for you to show up. This was an interesting perspective for me. I have always recommended the 4-day approach to families: move bedtime, morning wake time, and nap times later by 15 minutes per day. If you start on Monday, you have 6 days to make the change so you have a couple days of padding, just in case. But in practice, I rarely remembered to actually make the change gradually with my own children. Best case scenario, I remembered one day in advance and was able to spread it out over a day, and then I treated Sunday as a transition day so really, Monday was the first day the time change was imposed. And everyone knows how good the Monday after the time change feels. Now we live in Mexico and as of a year ago, Mexico abolished daylight savings time. This is definitely the ideal way to handle daylight savings – just don’t do it. If you have to change time zones, let me know what strategy you choose and how it goes! When Emerson’s parents started sleep training, they decided to do a form of timed checks where instead of checking in in person, they gave a verbal reassurance via the intercom feature of the baby monitor in their son’s room.
They reasoned that opening the door to visually reassure Emmerson would likely lead to him attempting to run out of the room and really upset him in the long run. To all of our surprise, Emerson did not react well to the verbal check-ins via the intercom. Just like he used to repeatedly visit his parents’ room during the night prior to sleep training, now Emerson was repeatedly requesting verbal reassurance via the intercom. It seemed like our plan to reassure him was actually creating more anxiety. So after 6 nights of frequent wakings and requests for reassurance, we updated our plan. Emerson’s parents put up photos on his wall of people who love him, so that E could feel loved and secure while alone in his room at night. Then they reminded him at bedtime that they would no longer be doing any check ins via the monitor anymore. And then we all held our breaths. After literally just one minute of crying and testing the door on the first night, Emerson returned to his bed. (His parents were watching his progress on the video baby monitor.) He cried and checked the door 7 more times throughout the night, the longest time being 50 minutes. But as he had already been having multiple night wakings before this, his parents were cautiously optimistic. The next night, Emerson tested the door and cried for one minute and then was asleep in 10 minutes. He got up to check the door 4 more times that night, but the longest episode lasted 5 minutes and the others were only 1 minute. The third night, Emerson only got up twice to check the door, and each episode lasted less than a minute. Same thing happened the fourth night. The fifth and sixth nights, Emerson slept through the night with zero wakings! And in the morning after the sixth night, he actually told his parents that “staying in bed all night is easy!” This case was illuminating because it really showed how in our attempts to reassure our children, we can prevent their abilities to learn to self soothe. Frequent check-ins, even over the intercom, were actually causing anxiety for Emerson. Once his parents decide to stop interacting with him – not an easy decision – Emerson quickly grew more confident in his own abilities. If you are considering sleep training but are worried that your child will feel abandoned or scared, consider the possibility that it might be your child’s dependence on you that is actually creating the fear. I know you have the best of intentions but often times, leaving children to figure things out on their own really is the best thing for them. PS Little Emerson is five years old. Many parents ask me if their toddler/preschooler/or school aged child is too old for sleep training. The answer is no, it’s never too late. PPS If your family is struggling with a child’s frequent need for reassurance, you are not alone. Schedule a free consult today and find out how your child can become a confident independent sleeper in just two weeks or less, guaranteed. |
AuthorAbby Wolfson is a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified child sleep consultant and certified life coach for parents. She divides her time between Brooklyn, NY and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Archives
February 2025
Categories
All
|