My Neurodiverse Nine-Year-Old Has Trouble Falling Asleep At Bedtime and Then Wakes Up During The Night (Do You Help Older Kids?)

Infants, toddlers and preschoolers aren’t the only ones who struggle with sleep. Especially when sleep issues in those earlier age groups aren’t fully resolved.

Other high risk (for sleep challenges) populations are children diagnosed with autism and/or ADHD (they often occur together) as well as children diagnosed with anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and similar diagnoses. And of course, many children with autism/ADHD (I’ll refer to them as ND or neurodiverse) are at higher risk for depression, anxiety, and OCD.

In the case of one family, the nine-year-old boy had always fallen asleep in his mom’s bed and then been transferred to his own bed later in the night. Recently he started waking up in his own bed and not surprisingly, needing to return to his mom’s bed to fall back to sleep. This might be fine except it was wreaking havoc on his mom’s sleep, which made work and parenting doubly hard. And this child’s anxiety made falling back asleep in the middle of the night especially difficult, because he would worry about his inability to fall back asleep.

Here are some tips I offered this mom and other parents in similar situations:

1. No screen time in the hour before bed except if your ND child can’t wind down without it. There are some kids who have this paradoxical effect from screen time. You’ll know if you have one of these. Some NT kids simply can’t wind down without screen time. Their brains are just too wound up.

2. Keep bedtime and awake times incredibly consistent. I know it’s tempting to keep your school aged child up later on weekends – I am guilty of the same – but consistency is especially important for kids who struggle with sleep. This means not letting them sleep late on weekends, either. Yes, I said to wake your sleepy child.

3. Get them outside or at least exposed to natural light as quickly as you can on weekends. This helps their body clocks, too. Please don't let them hang out on screens first thing in the morning. Movement is greatly beneficial for regulating the body clock, too.  

3. Ask your doctor about melatonin. Some ND kids simply can’t fall asleep without it, or not until hours later than they need. I otherwise do not recommend melatonin… but if the only other option is chronic insomnia, it may be the best choice. This should only be considered as a long term strategy if all sleep hygiene options have already been exhausted, no pun intended. (As a short term strategy to deal with challenges like jet lag, I have fewer concerns.)  

If your school aged child struggles with sleep, whether neurotypical or neurodiverse, it’s not too late to change things up! You can still create great sleep habits. Schedule a free consult and let’s talk about how we can get your family well-rested and feeling great. ​