Peaceful Parent Sleep Coaching -- baby and child sleep consultant for parents of young children in Brooklyn and globally
  • About
  • Services
  • Free Consult
  • Sleep & Parenting Hacks
  • Success
  • Videos
  • Health Coaching
  • About
  • Services
  • Free Consult
  • Sleep & Parenting Hacks
  • Success
  • Videos
  • Health Coaching

Sleep & Life Hacks

Quiz: Is Your Child Getting Enough Sleep?

1/26/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
Lots of parents tell me that their children are remarkably happy, despite getting enough sleep.

The truth is, it can be hard to tell if your child is getting enough sleep. This is because obvious signs of fatigue (like yawning and eye rubbing) are much less common in overtired children.

Here are some less obvious signs that your child may not be getting enough sleep:

1. Does your child get hyperactive or manic, particularly in the late afternoon or early evening? Overtiredness can actually mimic the symptoms of ADHD. This is because overtired children usually don’t wind down, they wind up… think of the Energizer Bunny.

Babies may need ever more bouncing, swinging, rocking to stay calm. Older children may be bouncing off the walls.


2. Do you regularly need to wake your child for school or daycare? A well-rested child should wake on their own at the appropriate time.

3. Does your child sleep late on weekends? As delicious as it is for parents, sleeping late is a sign of chronic overtiredness.

4. Does your child fall asleep before a scheduled nap in the car or stroller? Or does your non-napping child take a nap at any time if in the car? A well-rested child shouldn’t doze off in the car unless it’s a car ride at a scheduled time.

5. Is your child clumsy, irritable, or easily frustrated? A “difficult” child may actually just be a tired child.

If your child is showing one or more of these symptoms, try moving bedtime a few minutes earlier each night. A good goal for most children under 6 years old is a bedtime between 6:30 and 7:30 pm.

PS If you would like help figuring out if your child is overtired, schedule a free consult and let’s discuss it. Prices from 2020 ($399 for a two-week package) will be honored until the end of January, 2021 -- just ask on the phone call.  


​
0 Comments

Video: Erika's Story: As A Single Mom by Choice, I Was Working All Day and Up Most of the Night With My Daughter

1/18/2021

0 Comments

 
Erika, single-mother-by-choice to Marlo, 15 months, was exhausted. As a single parent, she had no choice but to work full-time. And then she was up much of the night with little Marlo. She had tried everything. 

Listen to her amazing results in this short video.

And if you are ready to transform your own family's sleep just as dramatically, schedule a free consult.

PS Prices just went up! But mention this blog post on your free consult before the end of January and pay 2020 prices ($399 for a two-week coaching package instead of $450).

What have you got to lose... besides those dark circles under your eyes?
0 Comments

Do You Secretly Like New Year's Resolutions? (I Do.)

1/12/2021

1 Comment

 
Picture
It’s that time of year again. New Year’s resolutions have rolled around again.

With some embarrassment, I admit that I love New Year’s Resolutions. 

Not because I don’t like myself but because with each new year, I feel like I have an opportunity to reinvent myself. I find it fun to think about what my best self would look like! And sometimes, my resolutions actually work! In 2002, I resolved to floss daily. And I actually did it. Although I have fallen off the wagon recently. One more thing to add to my 2021 resolutions, I suppose. Luckily, it’s a lot easier to resume new habits than start new ones.

This is good news for those of you who have slipped into some less-than-ideal sleep habits. Though I am proud and amazed to hear my former sleep clients have stuck to their amazing new habits and have children who are rested, happy and sleep-loving.


Gretchen Rubin, author of multiple New York Times bestselling books including The Happiness Project, offers five tips on how to keep your New Year’s Resolutions.

Here are her tips:

  1. Ask what would make you happier. For me, this would be being more patient with my children and enjoying them more. It’s so easy to be caught up in the hustle of the day and forget to actually enjoy their company.

    If you are a sleep-deprived parent, better sleep might make you a lot happier. I didn’t get enough sleep last week -- trying to work with my kids off school left me burning the candle at both ends -- and I was short-tempered and cross as a result. It definitely made life a lot less happy for the entire family!



  2. Ask myself what is a concrete action that would bring about change. Abstract resolutions are harder to keep. “Be happier and less critical” is hard to carry out but “get into bed at 9:30 every night and turn out the light at 10 pm” is a lot easier to understand and thus, to do. Side benefit: doing number two, turning off my light by 10 pm, helps me to do number 1, enjoy my children more. It also makes me less stressed in my work life.

  3. Determine if you are more motivated by positive resolutions or negative ones. I’m rebellious, so as soon as you tell me I can’t have something, I want it. But if you encourage me positively, I’m much more compliant. So telling me not to eat dairy (I want to do an eight-week dairy-free experiment as part of a fitness program I am starting today) is a lot harder than telling me to eat more vegetables.

    Children tend to be motivated by positive requests and discouraged by negative ones, too. So I’m in good company!


  4. Start with small, achievable goals. I wanted to meal-plan a month at a time but that is feeling overwhelming -- my kids have already stolen my meal plan and have reappropriated it for artwork -- so I am trying for weekly meal planning instead. This ties into my first goal, because I know I am happier when we eat more interesting meals… but they require planning so that I have the necessary ingredients on hand.

    If you want your child to sleep through the night, you might start with the smaller goal of having your child fall asleep independently. If you currently rock or feed to sleep, finish just before your child is asleep, and stay close by while you pat or shush them to sleep. It may not work the first night, but with your persistence, it will soon work. And just getting children to fall asleep independently can lead to many fewer night wakings. Continue to gradually reduce your support until your child is going into the crib awake at bedtime and falling asleep independently. With your persistence, it will happen!


  5. Find a way to keep yourself accountable. I have found myself an intermittent fasting buddy (I LOVE intermittent fasting! it makes me feel so much more energetic) and an exercise buddy. Both are virtual but checking in with each one, each day, has kept me motivated. Accountability is key! I am now starting a very intense exercise program with my workout buddy. I am really nervous about the intensity but knowing I have a Facebook group to support me as well as her realy helps.

    Many of my sleep clients have commented that having the support and the accountability of a sleep coach has kept them motivated where before they threw in the towel. If you don’t want or need a sleep coach, find a parenting friend who will be your support system.

    Here are some other strategies that work for me.


  6. Find things that motivate you, and use them every day. My new fitness plan is called E2M (Eager to Motivate) and has tons of before and after pictures. I look at them daily to keep myself excited to get stronger. I also do “thought downloads,” a kind of journaling, every single morning as a way to get myself choosing my thoughts consciously. And I have started using an app called Happy Child that sends me a quick new parenting tip -- with an alert -- every day. My hope is that this app will help keep me focused on my parenting game.

  7. Write down your goals and look at them every single day. Break them down into manageable goals. I have my 2021 goals on the first page of my new notebook. On the second page, I have some of those goals broken down into smaller goals for the first quarter of 2021. That helps me prioritize the steps I need to take in order to achieve my larger goals. 

Here are my own goals for 2021. Telling others about our goals improves your odds of achieving them!

  1. Notice my anxious thoughts and identify them instead of believing them. My daily thought downloads help with this. Just writing down what I am thinking helps me remember that they are just stories my brain is making up, not truths. Still, it's an ongoing battle for me! 

  2. Eat intentionally. For me, this requires meal planning so that I have the necessary ingredients on hand. It also requires thinking ahead about shopping. I’ve recently gotten information about butchers, produce, pastured egg and prepared food delivery so I can save time on shopping. It just requires planning. It's hard to make the time for it but I am trying!

  3. Hire help with cooking so that I can spend my time more consciously, either exercising, spending time with the family, working or providing myself with necessary self-care. When there is healthy food prepared in the refrigerator, it is so much easier to eat healthy. I love having delicious options ready for me. It makes me feel pampered, and allows me to work more.

  4. Eight hours of sleep a night. Get in bed at 9:30 pm and turn off the light at 10 pm. That extra half hour in bed is for reading more Reading is up there with oxygen and water for my survival. I can’t be a good human without that, either.


  5. Avoid “the manual.” My favorite podcaster, Brooke Castillo, says that we make ourselves miserable when we apply a manual to our loved ones. For example, I get frustrated when Amelie is slowly hopping up the stairs on all fours because I believe she “should” move more quickly when I ask her. And it’s the “should,” not the hopping, that makes me frustrated. When I try on the thought, “of course she should be hopping up the stairs -- she’s an active five-year-old,” I feel a lot less irritated. Then I can make the conscious decision of giving her a countdown or just waiting for her.

    My main goal here is just to notice myself applying the manual. As soon as I notice it, I relax and remember it’s my brain, not her actions, that are making me upset. After all, some days she hops and it doesn’t bother me at all. I can still set a limit about how long she has to get upstairs for bedtime, but I don’t have to be upset about it.


    The manual idea applies even more to my domestic partner but it can be used in any relationship. 

  6. Plan my time consciously. This is a perpetual work-in-progress. Brooke Castillo recommends a technique called “Monday Hour One” where you schedule every single thing on your to-do list every single Monday. Then you throw away your to-do list.

    I can’t quite achieve that but scheduling the important things first -- including workouts, time with the family, phone calls to friends, and my key work goals -- helps me to stay on track and avoid falling into the pit of email-checking at my most productive times. After those things are scheduled, I have client calls, writing sleep plans, and other business-building tasks scheduled. Email-checking comes last, because it can be a huge time-waster.

Telling others your goals will keep you motivated. So please comment and tell me yours!

And if your 2021 New Year’s Resolutions include better sleep so you can enjoy your family, sign up for a free consult and learn how easy it can be to achieve better sleep in two weeks or less, guaranteed.  


​
1 Comment

Should I Avoid Traveling With My Child So I Don’t Screw Up Her Sleep?

1/11/2021

0 Comments

 
Travel with Small Children
Many of us spent the holidays with our family like this, on a screen.

But if you are considering traveling beyond the couch in the future, you may be worried about how it will affect your child's sleep. 

One of my current client couples decided to cancel their holiday travel plans so that they could devote themselves fully to sleep training. While I applaud their committment, that is not always an option for all families.

If you are considering travel now or in the future, here are some things to keep in mind. 

1. The "half-life" of vacation. My friend Jess coined this term, which means that however long you were on your trip, it will take roughly half that long to get back to normal with your child's schedule. So if you were gone for 10 days, expect it will be approximately 5 days until things are back to normal.

2. The closer you adhere to your normal routine while traveling, the faster things will go back to normal. Even with the "half-life of vacation" principle, there are many things you can do to hasten (or delay) the return to normal. If you have night weaned, try not to offer night feedings on your trip... while also recognizing that sometimes, you have to prioritize the needs of a houseful of family and friends over your own family's needs. If you've stopped bed-sharing, try not to resume if you have another option... and have compassion for yourself if there are no other options. 

3. Maintain bedtime and naptime schedules whenever possible. If your child goes to bed late and wakes up early (as a result of that late bedtime) every day of your trip, everyone will suffer. Limit the exceptions for truly special evenings. Keep bedtime early and naps on schedule whenever possible. If you have to have one nap on the go, have the next one in a crib or bed. 

4. Schedule travel around your child's naps and bedtimes if your child will sleep in motion. My older child would only scream in the car -- it was exhausting -- so I let her take her first nap at home before we left home, if it was a short drive, or else planned for a no-nap day and a very early bedtime. We also mostly avoided car trips and took planes or Amtrak when possible.

My younger child would take naps in the car if I played the "correct" soundtrack on repeat and prevented Big Sister from talking loudly. With two kids, especially a high-energy younger sibling, driving became a much more appealing option than flying or taking the train. 

Every child is different. Some children will keep on sleeping if you transfer them from bed to car at 4 am. My children would never do that. But if yours do, go for it! That's a fantastic time to travel -- zero traffic. 

5. Travel with children is a trip, not a vacation. You'll be doing all the same work of parenting, but in an unfamilar (to your child) setting. Which means more work for you. Bedtimes and meal times will surely be more challenging. That's not to say you shouldn't go, just that you should have realistic expectations about how much fun you can expect to have. 

6. Keep some healthy food in the rotation. Extra treats are par for the course when it comes to vacation travel... but if your child eats nothing but processed carbohydrates, you can expect him to become constipated, and that will be misery for everyone. 

7. Prioritize fresh air and exercise every day. Small children need outdoor time every single day. If you're stuck in an airport, walk around and let her look at "the sights" -- the airport is a fascinating place to little ones. Otherwise, bundle her up appropriately ("there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear") and get her outside. Ideally more than once per day. Fresh air helps with naps, with general crankiness, with separation anxiety, with bedtime, with picky eating... it's just a win all around. And it doesn't have to be you pushing the stroller -- your sister-in-law will probably be an acceptable substitute for your child. 

Let's face it, travel with young children is never relaxing. And there will almost certainly be times when you choose it anyway. Trying to keep your child as well-rested and on schedule as possible will help your "re-entry" pain. 

If you'd like help getting your family great sleep so you can truly enjoy your time together, whether at home or away, book a free consult. Find out how your family can get the sleep you deserve.  


​
0 Comments

Why I Need a Coach in 2021 and So Do You

1/5/2021

0 Comments

 
sleep coach can change your life
A coach can push you, and encourage you, in just the right ways to help you experience transformational growth.

​I’m a big fan of asking for help. I figure it’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit that we aren’t good at everything and need help. We all need help with something.

I hired a coach in December and it’s life-changing. She is working with me on multiple levels: parenting, anxiety, growing my business.

And she’s not just helping me grow as a person, as a mother, as an entrepreneur, she’s also helping me think consciously about what kind of growth I want to achieve. She’s taught me to recognize, and question, the unconscious thoughts I am thinking that are shaping my life in negative ways.  


In my business self-coaching program, the coach suggests considering the cost of not coaching. If I didn’t get business coaching, how much income would I not earn as a result? If a client got relationship coaching, that could save her marriage. How much would that be worth to her? If you got weight loss coaching, you could prevent a future heart attack or diabetic amputation. How do you put a dollar value on adding healthy, productive years to your life? 

And if you are a parent who is sleep-deprived and living with an overtired child, what is the cost to you of reducing your enjoyment of your parenting, your job, your spouse or friends? You work so hard to have this beautiful, perfect family and now you aren’t reaping all the benefits you deserve.

Have you considered the health impact of cortisol, the stress hormone your body produces when we are tired, on your body?

Cortisol leads to increased weight gain, depression, heart disease and other chronic diseases. I experienced weight loss, improved memory (I seriously used to wonder if I was experiencing early dementia because I forgot words so often), more energy, improved sleep, and better focus when I was able to decrease my own cortisol levels. 


People hire personal trainers to make them show up to the gym and maximize their time there. Why not hire someone to strategize, reassure, and cheerlead you across the finish line to achieving great sleep and truly enjoying your family? Unlike a book or online course, a coach can help you troubleshoot the specific circumstances that arise each day with your unique child. 

If you are ready to make 2021 the year you get your family well-rested, so that you can truly enjoy your time together, set up a free consult and find out more about the process. The hardest part is taking the first step. 
0 Comments

    Author

    Abby Wolfson is a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified child sleep consultant and certified life coach for parents. She divides her time between Brooklyn, NY and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. 

    Archives

    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019

    Categories

    All
    Achieving Your Impossible Goals
    Adolescents
    Boundaries
    Breastfeeding
    Coaching
    Cosleeping
    Developmental Leaps
    Early Waking
    Illness
    Life Coaching
    Living Internationally
    Naps
    Newborns
    Overtiredness
    Overwhelm
    Parent Coaching
    Positive Reinforcement
    Postpartum Depression
    Potty Training
    Preschoolers
    School Aged Child
    Self Soothing
    Setting Limits
    Sibling Challenges
    Single Parents
    Sleep Crutches
    Sleep Deprivation
    Sleep Essentials
    Sleeping Through The Night
    Sleep Obstacles
    Sleep Schedules
    Sleep Training Methods
    Sleep Training Success
    Sleep Transitions
    Strong Attachment
    Tantrums
    Thought Work
    Time Changes
    Toddlers
    Travel
    Twins
    Vulnerability
    Wake Windows

    RSS Feed

SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULT
Picture
Every child deserves a great night's sleep.
​© 2019 Peaceful Parent Sleep Coaching. All Rights Reserved. Storybrand Website Design by Red Door Designs