Help! My Eight-Month-Old Twins Are Stuck In A Early Waking, Long First Nap, Short Second Nap Cycle

Hi Abby,

My twins are stuck in this crazy cycle. They wake up at around 5:10 am, take a long first nap around 7:30 am, and then there afternoon nap at 2 pm is only about 45 minutes.

We gave up the third nap a few weeks ago because it was hit or miss anyway.

Then they are cranky and miserable by 5:30 pm but I don’t want to put them to bed too early and perpetuate the cycle.

We are all exhausted! Please help!

Mary

These twins are caught in several reinforcing negative cycles.

The first is overtiredness. As you have probably heard me say, in the same way that sleep begets sleep, overtiredness creates more overtiredness. That’s because when children are overtired, the production of a stress hormone, cortisol, makes it harder for them to fall asleep at the right time, sleep all the way through the night without wakings, and wake up at at the appropriately restful time in the morning. 

The second issue is nap timing. The first nap is too early and too long. It is reinforcing the early morning wakings. (But without it, the twins are exhausted!)

The third is the transition from three naps to two. Nap transitions are never easy.

And the fourth, well, not issue but challenge, is that fraternal twins often have very different sleep needs. So while it’s ideal to have them sleeping at the same times, we can’t always expect them to sleep the same amount. 

Here’s what I suggest:

1. Don’t put the twins down to nap before 8:30 am. Even if that creates overtiredness. We have to stop reinforcing the early waking.
   
   
   
2. Cap the first nap at 1-1.5 hours. A too-long first nap can make the second nap too short, which makes too long of an interval between nap time and bedtime.
   
   
   
3. Aim to have the third nap at about 1 pm if you are expecting 2 naps a day, and 12 pm if 3 naps a day.
   
   If you’re not sure, do either 12:30 or 1 pm.
   
   
   
4. If the second nap is short, try for a third nap… and if only one of the naps had a short nap, and the other was longer, only put the short napper down for a third nap and keep the other one up. Otherwise keep them on the same schedule.

If the details are making your head swim because, you know, you’re tired… the TLDR: don’t move naptime too early (after about 6 months) to compensate for an early waking. A too-early first nap will reinforce the early waking.

Likewise, avoid a too long first nap, because that can also reinforce the early waking cycle.

And finally, fraternal twins’ can have very different sleep needs. 

If you’re family is struggling with too-early wakings, schedule a complimentary sleep consult and let’s get you back on track so you all wake up feeling amazing. 


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