Here's What You Need To Know About Timed Checks

It's crucial to leave your baby awake in the crib when doing any kind of sleep training, including timed checks.

Parents often ask about an intermediate option between cry it out and the most gradual options (which are typically the most time consuming methods).

Here’s what you need to know about timed checks. 

First off, there are no no-cry methods, for most kids. Sorry. I know that’s a bummer. If there was a no-cry method, I would be all over it!

***There are some kids – usually 3 and up – who don’t end up crying at all after we prepare them adequately for the sleep training process. And there are some gentle options for very little babies that likewise don’t involve crying.

Given that, the question becomes: what is the easiest way for your child to learn to sleep independently.

Timed checks are a popular option. The basic gist of them is that you leave the child alone and awake in their room. You set a timer and come back every few minutes for a brief check-in. You typically do not pick them up or even pat them, because this tends to ultimately be more upsetting for kids… because when you get close enough to touch your child, your child thinks you are going to pick them up… and they get really frustrated when they realize the truth.

So the check is usually just 10-20 seconds. You pop your head in and say a calm sleep mantra, something like, “it’s time to sleep, I love you, I’ll check on you again in a few minutes.” 

Then you wait another pre-determined interval.

With traditional Ferber, you increase the waiting time each time. Another method recommends staying at every 5 minutes. I generally recommend increasing the interval because the checks are stimulating… but some of my colleagues do not.

Likewise with traditional Ferber, you do not go back in if the child’s crying is winding down. In that case, you stop the clock and set it back to zero. You only start it again if the crying ramps up again. 

A common misconception is that the check-ins will be soothing. They generally are not soothing for babies and toddlers. Preschoolers and above are more likely to be soothed by them, because they are able to understand your intent with coming back.

From a baby or toddler’s perception, popping your head in and not picking them up is frustrating. That doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile, though. There may be value in teaching them that you always come back… it just takes a few days to see the benefit. 

Personally, doing timed checks with my oldest just enraged her, so I only checked on her a few times. With my youngest, timed checks were helpful at 5 months and younger because I could replace the pacifier. When I try to do them now, at 8 months, they make her hysterical. I only go in if her pacifier has fallen to the floor.

There is, unfortunately, no perfect, no-cry method, nor one that is successful with 100% of children. But timed checks can be an effective method for many families. 

Want to talk about what method would be best for your family? Schedule a free consult and find out how your family can be sleeping better in 2 weeks or less, guaranteed. (For babies 6 months or older. Success rates are not 100% in younger babies, due to variability in their ability to self-soothe..) 

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