How Long Should I Share A Room With My Baby?

Does the thought of moving your baby out of your bedroom fill you with dread or delight?

Not long ago, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) changed its recommendation for roomsharing, dropping their recommendation to at least 6 months of rooming-in with your baby instead of 12 months. 

But many families I work with wonder if they can stop sooner than that.

Why?

Well, most babies and adults sleep longer, and more deeply when they are not sharing a room. We hypothesize that that is because we aren’t waking each other up with those little noises we all make while sleeping, babies too.

But is it safe? Although it’s annoying, it seems like too-deep sleep for young babies might be a risk factor for SIDS, right?

Emily Oster (Cribsheet) did a deep dive into the literature and found that room sharing actually only significantly reduces the risk of SIDS during the first four months of sleep. In fact, she says, “the choice of sharing a room, or even sharing a bed, does not seem to affect SIDS risk after three or four months, at least for parents who are nonsmokers.” (Smoking is a known risk factor for SIDS.)

Moreover, she says, room sharing after 4 month has a significant negative effect on child sleep after 4 months old. And certainly, we can all agree, doesn’t have a positive impact on parents’ sleep (no one sleeps well with a crying baby in one’s bedroom!). In fact, she says, babies who slept alone at 4 months also slept longer alone at 9 months old, even longer than babies who started sleeping alone later than 4 months. And “these differences were still present when the child was two and a half years old.” At 9 months old, babies who slept alone slept 45 minutes longer per night than those who were still room sharing.

If we consider that sleep is just as important for healthy brain development as food – and I, personally, do – than we can see that not room sharing after 4 months old is often the healthiest and best choice for a baby as well as her parents.

Of course, I always recommend that parents read the literature for themselves! This is not a decision to make lightly. But I found Oster’s conclusions quite surprising and compelling. (Chapter 6, Recommendation 3, from Cribsheet -- check it for yourself.)

Are you thinking about moving your baby out of your room but feeling a bit nervous about tromping down the hall to his room multiple times a night? Let’s talk on a free consult call about how we can reduce your baby’s night wakings – maybe even gradually but fully night weaning, if you’re ready for that! – so that the move to a separate bedroom means better sleep for everyone, not just your baby. 


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