Janet Lansbury on Sleep Training

​Janet Lansbury, author of No Bad Kids and creator of the podcast Unruffled is one of my favorite parenting coaches. I love her ideas about how making space for children’s big emotions – without changing our boundaries – is ultimately more respectful to children than negotiating and caving to their demands.  

This week she blogged about sleep training (although she doesn't like to call it that).

Here’s her key takeaways.
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1. Babies are easily overstimulated and overtired. Keeping them awake because you don’t want them to cry before sleep is not respecting their needs.
   
   
2. Babies actually like routine and habits. They can develop a habit of relying on parents to help them sleep but they are also capable of developing the habit of putting themselves to sleep.
   
   
3. When making changes to the routine, respectful communication is essential. She recommends three steps:
   
   
   1. Develop good communication by, for example, remembering to ask “are you ready for me to pick you up?” before you scoop her up.
      
      
   2. Be honest about the upcoming changes, ““After your bath we’ll nurse and then I’ll sing a song while we snuggle and take you to your bed so you can rest. Usually we rock and rock, but tonight we’ll snuggle and then say goodnight in your bed.”
      
      Note: Lansbury doesn’t like calling it “sleep training” because “not only because it sounds unnatural and forced, but also because transitioning to healthier sleep habits is actually the opposite of training — it is more like un-training. We are respectfully un-training the children we’ve trained to be lulled to sleep by rocking, bouncing, fencing, carrying and car rides.
      
      
   3. Support, acknowledge, and respect feelings, “This is hard for you. It feels different. You like nursing to sleep. You will soon learn to relax without nursing to sleep.”
      
      
4. Let go. Release your own stress at bedtime so that you express calm and create a peaceful bedtime routine that will help your little one peacefully drift off to dreamland.
   
   

Lansbury also warns against pitying our children for needing to go to sleep, or fearing a battle with them.

Many parents fear sleep training and I was one of them. I thought it would be a terrible, guilt-inducing experience.

Imagine my surprise when I found that sleep training was actually an empowering experience. My babies became calm, confident, predictable little creatures. They never cried after that because I always knew exactly when and what they needed.

But don’t take my word for it. Take Janet Lansbury’s. Great sleep is a beautiful gift for your child and your entire family.

If you are ready for great sleep for your family and aren’t sure where to start, schedule a free consult and be well-rested by the end of the month. Guaranteed.