As I’m sure you all know, we tend to use New Year’s Resolutions as a way to beat ourselves into shape, only to quickly fail and abandon our goals within days or weeks.
But I recently saw a great YouTube video that suggested New Years’ themes instead. (here’s the link if you’d like to watch this 6-minute video.)
The basic idea is that “resolutions” tend to have the premise that there is something “wrong” with us that needs to be fixed.
This is a terrible way to create change, starting in such a negative place. It makes us feel bad before we even start.
Let me be clear: you aren’t broken and you don’t need to be fixed. You are worthy of love and admiration, just as you are today.
The creator of the video says “not every tool needs to have a sharp edge.”
So let’s take a more loving approach, and focus on overall themes. You can have one per month, season, or year.
I didn’t exactly plan this, but in my case, my theme for Fall 2022 was “authenticity.” I wanted to tune in more closely to who I really am, and honoring that person, as imperfect as she is.
That led to me ending my romantic partnership, one I had expected to be lifelong. It felt very sudden when it happened, but in hindsight, I had been working towards this change for a long time.
This work was painful and hard and messy, but it also felt real and necessary. And the payoff is that I feel so much better. I feel in alignment with myself.
I was really, really sad initially, but it was about losing the dream I thought I had, not for losing the reality.
Brooke Castillo, Life Coach School founder, says “discomfort is the price of growth.” I couldn’t agree more. She also says "discomfort is the currency of our dreams," and I love that even more.
I give life coaching 100% credit for helping me to do this work. I could never have imagined getting so clear on my own priorities and speaking them clearly.
Now I’m in a new relationship, and it’s like night and day. I am able to speak up and speak my truth. It’s still uncomfortable, and maybe it will never be truly easy for me, but it’s so much less uncomfortable than swallowing my truth.
I don’t know if this relationship is meant for the long haul or not, but either way, I feel so liberated. I am so grateful.
If you’d like help speaking your own truth – or maybe even just figuring out what your truth is – schedule a complimentary life coaching session and see what transformation is available to you.
Abby Wolfson is a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified child sleep consultant and certified life coach for parents. She divides her time between Brooklyn, NY and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.