Sleep Tips For New Big Siblings

Adding a new baby to your family is a time of great excitement… and great fatigue, of course.

While it’s inevitable that the baby’s parents are exhausted, everyone will be much happier if the big sibling is well-rested.

Here are some tips to help make that happen.

1. If at all possible, PLEASE please please get your older child sleeping well before the new baby arrives.
   
   If your soon to be big sibling is sleeping in your bed, get them out well in advance of the new baby’s arrival. You don’t want your older child to feel displaced by the new baby – that will lead to tons of sibling rivalry and jealousy for your older one.
   
   And if you want to continue bedsharing with your older child, know that it is imperative that the new baby doesn’t ever bedshare with a sibling. That means you’ll need to be extra careful about falling asleep in bed while feeding the baby. I suggest you don’t ever feed in bed in that situation. Get a comfortable chair near the bed and take care not to fall asleep there, either. 
   
   If you currently stay with your child while she falls asleep, likewise, stop well before your new baby arrives, unless you are confident that you have a parent who can stay with the older child every night for months to come. For the same reasons as above.
   
   
2. Protect your big sibling’s bedtime above the baby’s needs. And make sure to tell the baby so, in earshot of the big sibling.
   
   Your big sibling will frequently need to compromise to make allowances for the new baby. Don’t let bedtime be one of those times. If your older child is sleep deprived, everyone suffers.
   
   And if the big sibling feels like he is never the first priority, he will act out with the baby. He needs to know that sometimes, he comes first. Telling the baby this in front of him ensures that he knows that you love him just as much as the baby.
   
   If at all possible, have a parent do the big sibling’s bedtime every night that one of you is home. Another adult can care for the baby at that time. The baby won’t know the difference.
   
   If the baby is exclusively breast fed, either have the other parent do the big kid’s bedtime, or, if there is only one parent, bring the baby to the big kid’s room and nurse while you read to your older child. Do not have an non-parent alternate caregiver put your big kid to bed for the first month or two.
   
   
3. Don’t start bedsharing with your older child out of desperation. Keep the sleep rules the same as they were before the new baby arrived. Even if your older child protests, consistency and predictability is very important for your big one.
   
   
4. Perhaps it goes without saying, but make sure each child (and perhaps the parents too) have a good white noise machine near their bed. My favorite, hands down, is the Hatch Rest. I held off for years but it really is worth the little bit of extra money. (I splurged on the adult Hatch with the sunrise alarm clock for myself and it's awesome.)
   

Last but not least, if you are struggling to get your older child’s sleep on track with the disruption that a new baby brings to the family, you are not alone. Life with a newborn is tough. Try to be kind to everyone, most especially yourself, and remember that while those exhausting days feel endless, in reality they (usually) pass quickly. 

PS If you'd like help getting your family's sleep on track, schedule a free consult and discover how you can have a much easier family life with a well- rested older child, even with a new baby in your home.