Sleep Training Twins and Multiples

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Twins. Double trouble but triple the joy? 

I haven't been lucky enough to experience multiples personally (though I was hoping for them with my firstborn!) . But I've recently had the pleasure of working with two sets of twins and I'd like to share a few tips for all those tired families of twins and higher-order multiples.

1. Identical twins typically have similar sleep needs, while fraternal twins are more likely to have different sets of sleep needs. In a separate blog post, I'll talk about how to address these different sets of needs.
   
   
2. Unless you are able to provide separate bedrooms for each twin long-term, it's usually best to sleep train them in the same room. 
   
   Yes, this means that they will likely wake each other up. In the beginning. Eventually, they will learn to sleep through each other's noise. This is an important key to success with twins. Unfortunately, there's no easy way to get there. You just have to get through it.
   
   
3. White noise can really help with covering some of the noise though. My absolute favorite white noise is the HomeMedics White Noise Sound Machine. It's considerably louder, cheaper, and more lightweight than the Marpac or the Dohm. It also allows you to use batteries if you are traveling and there's not a handy outlet nearby. We've even used ours in a tent!
   
   
4. Each twin should have her own crib once she is able to move around, if not before. It's best to have the cribs as far apart as is safely possible. This makes them less likely to disturb each other.
   
   
5. Blackout shades during naps and nighttime sleep are especially important when working with twins. We want to make sleepy cues super obvious. 
   
   
6. Consistency, as always, is key. Whatever approach you take to sleep training, you need to do it exactly the same for each twin. 
   
   
7. Both twins need to be on the same schedule, for the sanity of the parents. Otherwise you will never leave the house!
   
   If you can't get them into bed at exactly the same time, it should be within 30 minutes of each other. It is okay if one twin goes to bed a bit earlier than he might otherwise need. If he's not tired, he can rest or play quietly in his crib until he gets sleepy. If he's crying in the crib, he's tired! It does not mean that he feels like he's in baby jail -- these are thoughts we adults assign to our babies. So please don't feel guilty about putting your twin to bed at a time you fear is not ideal.
   
   
8. Feed both twins at the same time, or as close as possible, unless one twin is ready to skip night feedings. This will help their sleep schedules sync up. At night, if both babies need feedings, when one baby wakes up, wake the other for a feeding too. I highly recommend the My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow for Twins, whether you are breast or bottle feeding. Feeding both babies at the same time can save you a lot of time. 
   
   If your babies were in the NICU and come home on a schedule, consider keeping them on that schedule. It can also save you a lot of time and effort in the long run.
   
   
9. Many twins are born small and need extra attention paid to feedings and weight gain. By nine months adjusted, though, most babies are ready to be night weaned unless your pediatrician still has concerns about weight gain. In the long run, night weaning makes for higher quality sleep and thus, happier babies. 
   
   It's up to you to decide how to night wean. Some folks prefer a more gradual approach, slowly decreasing the volume or length of feedings, while others prefer to go cold turkey so that the change happens faster. Either way will work, as long as you are consistent in your approach. 
   
   
10. When you are feeling guilty that one twin has to wait her turn for attention, or otherwise has her needs compromised, remember that there are many gifts to being a twin. Just like with disparate-age siblings! 
    
    Learning to take turns, to share, and to wait are all valuable life lessons. And many twins grow up to have an unbelievably close bond as adults. I lived with one set of twins as an adult, and I was envious of the closeness they enjoyed. 
    
    Being a twin (or higher order multiple) is a rare and special gift! With better sleep, you'll be able to appreciate your unique gift all the more.
    
    

For help with sleep training twins, or any other child, schedule a free chat with me and get your questions answered.