You know that moment.

It’s 4:52 am.

You hear the patter of tiny feet.

Then a face right next to your face whisper-yelling, “Mama? Can I have a snack?”

Your whole body sags because you just fell back asleep.

You don’t want to get up. You also don’t want a meltdown.

So you slide over, hand them your phone, or shuffle to the couch, or start making oatmeal in the dark.

And the whole day starts before you’ve even had a chance to remember who you are.

If this is you, I want you to know:

• This is not your fault. 
• You’re not missing something obvious.
• You are not alone. 
  
• Early wakings are one of the most common sleep struggles.
• This is fixable.
  
  

But the solution is probably not what your 3 am Googling or your Park Slope Parents parent chat tells you.

Let’s talk about what’s actually going on.

Why Early Morning Wakings Happen

Between 4 and 6 am, children enter the lightest part of their sleep cycle. Melatonin (the sleep hormone) is dropping. Cortisol (the wake up hormone) is rising.

So if your child was slightly overtired, overstimulated at bedtime, or relied on you to fall asleep, they’re much more likely to pop awake here.

Most parents try to fix the wake up time itself. 

But the fix actually happens at bedtime.

The Two Most Common Issues I See

1. Bedtime is too late (even by 20 minutes).

It feels backward, but when kids are overtired, they wake earlier, not later.

2. They’re relying on you to fall asleep.

If they fall asleep with you next to them, they expect you to still be there at 5 am.

Their brain says: “Something is different. Better call for backup.”

This doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.

It just means their sleep associations need a little recalibration.

Here's What To Do

You don’t have to do a hard core sleep training routine.

You can make this shift in a few days.

Try this starter reset:

1. Move bedtime 15–30 minutes earlier for 3–5 nights.

Yes, earlier.

Overtired brains wake early.

Then re-evaluate. You may be able to move bedtime back or you may need to keep it at the earlier time. 

2. Create a consistent falling asleep routine.

If you currently lie next to your child while they fall asleep, lie next to them with the lights on, or for only one minute in the dark -- set a timer they can hear.

Then get up and tell them you have to go do x task but you'll come back in y minutes to check on them. And then do come back when you said you will. Always.

Children need consistency to feel confidence. They do not need you there every time they call. They just need to know what will happen if they do call. 

3. In the early morning, keep the response calm, boring, predictable.

Lights stay low.

No screens.

No snacks unless it’s truly hunger, in which case make it a very boring snack they'll only want if they are actually hungry. Think grilled chicken breast versus banana nut muffin. No one eats a grilled chicken breast if they are not hungry but anyway can scarf down a muffin at a moment's notice. 

If possible, return your child to the sleep space (even if you stay nearby).

The message becomes:

“This is still sleep time. I’m here with you.”

Not:

“The day starts when you wake up.”

But please hear this:

You don’t have to do this alone or figure out the details.

This is exactly where most parents get stuck.

Not because they’re failing, but because they’re exhausted.

It’s Not About Discipline. It’s About Capacity.

Your body is tired. 

Your nervous system is shot.

Your patience is gone by 8:30 am.

You’re living on coffee and adrenaline.

Of course mornings feel impossible.

Any parent would struggle in that.

You deserve rest, too.

If You’re Reading This Thinking: “Okay but HOW?”

That’s the part I help parents with every day.

We don’t have to do cry-it-out.

We don’t force anything.

We choose an approach that fits your child’s attachment needs and your capacity.

And we make progress in days, not months.

If you want personalized help, schedule a free consult here:

But even if you don’t reach out, I want you to know:

Early mornings are not here forever.

Your child can sleep later.

You can have your mornings back.

Life does not have to happen before sunrise.

You’re allowed to want rest.

Your whole family is entitled to easy, confident, peaceful sleep. Promise. 

Every November, we get a little “gift” — an extra hour of sleep when we fall back from Daylight Saving Time to standard time.

Sounds dreamy, right?

A whole hour to sleep in?

​The only problem is that our kids didn’t get the memo.

That magical “extra hour” often turns into 5 a.m. wake ups, cranky afternoons, and frenetic, overtired evenings.

Planning ahead can really pay off  when it comes to this transition which all too often catches us by surprise. 

Why Kids Wake Early After the Fall Back Time Change (and Why They Won't Just Sleep Late For Once)

When the clocks fall back, 6 a.m. becomes 5 a.m. Your child’s body still thinks it’s 6 a.m.

That’s why they’re suddenly up with the birds.

The good news: most kids adjust within a week.

The better news: you can help make that week easier with a few smart DST sleep strategies.

Pick the Right Transition Plan for Your Family (and Yourself)

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. The best approach depends on your child’s age and temperament as well as your own personality.

Are you the kind of person who starts packing a week before a trip or an hour before you're supposed to leave? That'll tell you a lot about which approach is best for you.

(Truthfully, I'm a week-before packer and still never managed to organize myself for the time change.) 

• Wing It
  Do nothing in advance. You’ll get through it although you'll likely have a few cranky mornings for parents and children alike.
  
  
• Mini-Transition (Most Families’ Sweet Spot)
  A few days before the time change, put your child to bed 20 minutes later each night. Leave them for 20 minutes longer in the morning than they are accustomed to. If they get upset, get them up but keeps the lights low and activities quiet until the 20-minutes-later goal time. By Sunday, a buffer day, their internal clock is already closer to the new time. 
  
  
• Full Transition (For Sensitive Sleepers)
  Start shifting bedtime and naps by 10–15 minutes over 4–6 days. It’s slower, but perfect for sensitive little ones who don’t handle abrupt schedule changes well.
  
  

Align Wake Ups, Naps and Feedings With the New Schedule

If bedtime shifts but mornings, naps, and feedings stay the same, your child’s sleep schedule won’t fully reset.

You'll need to get them up later (ideally, this part isn't critical), feed them later, and put them down to nap later than usual.

Embrace Later Bedtimes (Temporarily)

Temporarily moving bedtime later can help cause overtiredness during the transition, but it makes the following week less painful so just take it slow and steady. Don't try to skip a whole hour in one night. 

Use Light to Reset Your Child’s Sleep After DST

​Light is one of the most powerful cues for our internal clocks:

• Exposure to morning light helps reset the body clock. Open  the curtains first thing upon waking your child, and get outside as early as you can, even if it's just a 10 minute walk or to drink coffee and hot chocolate on the stoop.
  
  
• Dim the lights in the evening to signal that bedtime is coming. This helps the hypothalamus get the memo to start producing the body's own melatonin. It'll be important to turn all the screens off early, also, because the blue light from screens is stimulating to the brain. Not what you want when you are trying for an early bedtime!
  
  

Age-Specific Fall Back Sleep Tips

Babies

Babies are more sensitive to even small shifts in timing, so a gradual adjustment of just 10 to 15 minutes every day can make a world of difference. Slowly stretching feeding times and naps can help minimize overtiredness and avoid major disruptions. Ask childcare providers to help you with this. 

Toddlers

For toddlers, it often works best to “split the difference," shifting the schedule 20 minutes per day, although it's even better if you can do it more slowly. Adjust bedtime gradually, keep routines tight, and expect a few early mornings that will smooth out over the week.

Again, waking your toddler early in the morning this week and after naps will be (painfully) crucial to preventing next week's tantrum storm.

School Age Kids

Ironically, school age children may benefit the most from a structured plan since they need to be alert, focused, and emotionally regulated at school, which is tough with a DST hangover.

Waking your child a little later each day this week can help their body adjust to a later bedtime, which will make early wake-ups less likely next week. After the time change, it’s especially helpful to hold firm on your new morning wake time over the weekend.

And remember: your child won’t be the only tired kid at school that week. The teachers know. They’ve seen it all (and are tired themselves). You’re in good company... but still, it's not fun for anyone.

Give Yourself (and Your Kids) Grace

Even with the best plan, there may be a few bumpy mornings. That’s not a failure, it’s biology.

Keep routines steady. Don't plan any extra actitivies for after pick up next week. Trust that their internal clocks will catch up. Within about a week, your family will find its new rhythm.

🎃 Why Halloween Can Actually Help With the Fall Back Time Change
That later Halloween bedtime is actually your ally for school aged children. 
Toddlers and babies are less likely to sleep late so be cautious with this strategy for them.

A slightly later bedtime Friday night naturally shifts your child’s body clock forward — which makes the early wake-ups on Sunday less brutal.
How to make it work:

• Let bedtime run later Friday night. (You don’t need to make it a free-for-all, but an extra 30–60 minutes is your friend here.)
  
• Sleep in a bit Saturday morning if your child will.
  
• Keep bedtime a little later again on Saturday to lock in the shift.
  
• Enjoy your Sunday coffee at a reasonable hour instead of 5 a.m.
  

A few weeks ago, a mom posted in a parenting group about her 16-month-old.

​Her daughter was napping for about two hours during the day and sleeping from 8:30 pm to 7:30 am at night.


“Except lately,” she wrote, “she’s waking up around 1 or 2 am, wide awake and wanting to play. We keep the room dark, try rocking her back to sleep, but nothing works. Eventually we bring her into our bed and after a long time, she’ll fall asleep but no one sleeps well.”

“Oh,” she added, “sometimes she falls asleep in the car at 11 am. Otherwise for naps I lie down with her. And at night, I rock her until she’s fully asleep before putting her in the crib. But please don’t tell me to use cry-it-out. I’d rather just lie with her at night for the next couple years of naps and nights than traumatize her.” 

As soon as I read her post, I knew what was going on.

Why Toddlers Wake at Night to Play

From the outside, this toddler’s sleep sounds great. But when you look more closely, the total sleep is low.

The Overtiredness Trap

Let’s do the math:

• At night: 10.5 hours in bed minus a 2-hour waking = 8.5 hours of sleep
  
• Nap: 2 hours
  
• Total: 10.5 hours in 24 hours
  
  

Most toddlers this age need 12–15 hours of total sleep in a 24 hour period.

This toddler is woefully overtired.

And when a child doesn’t get enough sleep, her body produces cortisol, the stress hormone that makes it harder for children to fall and stay asleep.

That “wired but tired” feeling leads to night wakings and middle-of-the-night play sessions.

That late-morning car nap? It’s her body trying to catch up on her massive sleep debt.

The Role of Rocking and Co-Sleeping

Here’s something I didn’t share publicly in that Facebook comment but would unpack in a coaching session:If your toddler always falls asleep while rocking in your arms, that becomes the signal their brain associates with sleep.

When she wakes during the night (which we all do between sleep cycles), she realizes she’s no longer being rocked and doesn’t know how to return to sleep independently.

Bringing her into your bed may seem like the only way to survive the night, but from her point of view, it’s a reward: I wake up, I get cuddles, I get to be close to Mom.

Completely understandable and yet it keeps the unfortunate cycle going.


The Ideal 16-Month-Old Sleep Schedule

At this age, most toddlers thrive on one consistent nap and an early bedtime.

Sample Schedule:

• Wake: 6:30 am
  
• Nap: 12:00–2:00 pm (in the crib, not the car)
  
• Bedtime: 7:00 pm
  = Total of 13.5 hours 
  
  

The earlier bedtime helps prevent overtiredness, which in turn reduces night wakings.

And putting your toddler down awake at bedtime teaches your child how to fall back to sleep independently between sleep cycles, something we adults do without even realizing it.

This is a learned skill, and something that can be gently taught by loving parents. 


Gentle Solutions—No Cry-It-Out Required

You don’t have to leave your child alone to figure it out.

Gentle, evidence-based approaches work beautifully when paired with the right schedule, environment, and routines.

Small adjustments can make a big difference:

• Move bedtime earlier
  
• Keep nap time and routine consistent
  
• Use a predictable bedtime routine
  
• Support independent sleep skills at bedtime and overnight
  
  

When I work one-on-one with families, I customize these steps to your child’s temperament and your parenting style so you get results without guilt. 


The Takeaway

Night wakings aren’t a sign something’s wrong with your child.

They’re a signal that something in the sleep puzzle needs adjusting. With the right rhythm and routines, most toddlers need to sleep 11–12 hours at night and take one solid nap during the day.

You don’t have to choose between connection and sleep. You deserve to have both. And more importantly, so does your toddler. 


Ready to Get Your Toddler Sleeping Through the Night?

If your toddler is waking at night to play, I can help.

Together, we’ll identify what’s causing the wakings and design a plan that works for your family.

Book a consult call to get started and help your toddler (and you!) finally sleep through the night.

Abby Wolfson, CPNP

I’m a Certified Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant.

Through Peaceful Parent Sleep Coaching, I’ve helped hundreds of families around the world teach their children to sleep independently using gentle, evidence-based methods.

I’m also the only pediatric sleep consultant who offers a money back guarantee, because I believe parents deserve peace of mind as much as they deserve sleep.

If your three-year-old is requiring hours of adult assistance to fall asleep at night, even if they have been great sleepers for months or years, you are not alone.

Here's a few reasons why. 

1. The Independence of An Open Bed

By age 3, most kids transition out of cribs and into “big kid” beds. While cribs may look like baby jails to us adults, the containment actually feels cozy and secure to young children. 

Once the crib barrier is gone, all that freedom can feel overwhelming. A 3-year-old may bounce between wanting to “do it myself” and wanting to be babied again. And in the darkness of night, that baby side often comes out. The freedom to wander out of their room into the big, quiet house can feel downright scary.

2. Boundary Testing

Three-year-olds are professional negotiators. They test limits at bedtime, with the potty, when brushing teeth, putting on shoes, or getting out the door. It’s their job developmentally.

And they so unbearably cute. So when your child whispers, “Mommy, one more hug,” or suddenly remembers, “Daddy, Johnny hurt my feelings at school today,” it’s hard to ignore those bids for attention.

But when these requests get (inadvertently!) rewarded night after night, they quickly become patterns.

3. Big Emotions

Three-year-olds are called "threenagers for a reason." They're adept with communicating their desires but not so skilled when it comes to managing their emotions. When every tiny decision can cause a meltdown -- "not the blue cup! I want the red cup!!!!!" -- it's understandably daunting to pick a big battle over bedtime when you're at your most exhausted. 

What You Can Do

1. Use a Barrier

Whether it’s a gate at the door or a "Door Monkey," make sure your child can’t wander the house alone at night.

It's not mean! It actually makes kids feel more secure. And in case of emergency, you’ll know exactly where your child is. (A three-year-old is not capable of exiting the house independently in case of a fire, so the safest place for them is safely contained in their room.) 

(No, a 3-year-old is not capable of escaping a house in a fire!)

This doesn’t mean ignoring them—it just means you go to them, instead of them roaming in the dark.

2. Maintain Boundaries

Be, as Dr Becky would say, "be a study leader." Consistency is everything. Dig deep and stick to your bedtime rules, even when you’re tired. Each time you hold the line, you’re helping your child feel safe within clear boundaries.

3. Pick Your Battles

Let some of the small things go and conserve your energy for the things that matter, like bedtime. Try to prioritize no more than 3 major boundaries each day. Everything else, let go. 

4. Use Visual Supports

A visual timer or bedtime clock can make rules concrete and easy to follow. Children this age thrive on visuals and routines.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

These are just a few of the strategies I share with parents of preschoolers inside my 2-week coaching package.

✔️ Your child can sleep peacefully through the night
✔️ You can reclaim your evenings to rest or connect with your partner
✔️ Mornings can start with a cheerful preschooler instead of a grumpy threenager

And yes—results are guaranteed or your money back. (Psst: I have never had a parent of a three-year-old ask for a refund. This system really works.) 

👉 Would you like to know if this could be the right fit for your family?

Schedule a free consultation.

​Let's talk. You'll come away with some helpful tips whether you decide to move ahead with sleep coaching or not. 

And lastly, know that this is all perfectly normal. Three-year-olds do eventually grow up and mature. But better sleep for everyone helps the maturation process go faster for everyone. 

One of the most common questions I hear is: “My child is already anxious. Wouldn’t sleep training make it worse?”

The short answer? No. Not only is sleep training safe for anxious children, it’s actually one of the best tools to reduce their anxiety and build their confidence.

Why All Children Experience Anxiety 

The world is big and bewildering when you’re little. A toddler suddenly realizes that Mom can walk away. A preschooler notices shadows in the dark. A grade-schooler knows that dogs can growl and school has noisy fire (and shooter!) drills.

Every child feels anxiety at times. Some feel it more strongly than others. And yes, some kids lean “anxious” by temperament or even go on to get an anxiety diagnosis in the future. That doesn’t mean they can’t sleep independently.

In fact, sleep training helps anxious children feel more secure.

Why Avoiding "Scary" Things Makes Anxiety Worse

Research shows that when parents accommodate anxiety—by changing our own behavior to prevent the child from feeling anxious—it unintentionally makes things worse.

For example:

• A child is afraid of dogs.
• Every time a dog appears on the sidewalk, the parent crosses the street to avoid it.
• The child thinks: “Mom thinks dogs are dangerous too. I was right—dogs really are scary.”
  
  

The child’s anxiety grows. Then the parent starts avoiding the park, too. The child’s world shrinks. Anxiety expands.

The Same Pattern Happens With Sleep

When sleep gets hard, many parents understandably “accommodate” their child’s anxiety at bedtime.

Example: your toddler moves to an open bed from a crib:

• They pop out of bed, wander around, or search for you.
• To keep the peace, you sit beside them until they drift off.
• Soon, bedtime takes longer and longer.
  
• Then your child starts waking up at night.
  
• Result: everyone is exhausted.
  
  

Instead of reducing anxiety, this routine tells your child: “You can’t do this alone. Sleep is scary.”

How Sleep Training Reduces Anxiety

Helping your child learn to fall asleep independently—after a warm, loving bedtime routine—isn’t just about longer nights for parents. Independent sleep gives kids confidence.

When you use gentle, consistent sleep training strategies:

• Your child learns: “I can fall asleep by myself. I’m safe.”
• Bedtime battles fade.
• Night wakings stop.
• Anxiety levels drop, both at night and during the day.
  
  

Safe sleep training doesn’t damage an anxious child. It empowers them.

Gentle, Loving Sleep Training Approaches

“Sleep training” doesn’t have to mean leaving your child alone to cry. There are gentle, age-appropriate methods that let you set clear boundaries while staying connected and supportive.

No matter how old your child is, it’s never not too late to sleep train.

Teaching independent sleep skills can dramatically reduce anxiety and restore calm at night and also during the day.

The Bottom Line

Sleep training will help your anxious child to sleep better and feel more confident. Guaranteed or your money back. 

👉 Want expert support with your anxious child’s sleep? [Book a free call with me here.]

A mom recently posted in a parenting group about her 16-month-old. Her toddler was taking a solid 2–2.5 hour nap during the day, sleeping from about 8:30 pm to 7:30 am at night—yet suddenly waking at 1–3 am, full of energy and ready to play.

She explained that they keep the room dark and try rocking her back to sleep, but it doesn’t work. Eventually, she ends up in their bed and after a long stretch, finally falls asleep again. No one, of course, sleeps well.

This mom suspected the issue was "split nights" caused too much daytime sleep. 

She added two more details as a postscript that are very important:

• Sometimes the toddler falls asleep in the car around 11 am.
• She’s unwilling to use “cry it out.”
  
  

Here's why I told her I disagree. And what I would add if she was my client. 

1. The Overtiredness Factor

It might sound surprising, but her toddler is actually not getting enough total sleep.

Here’s the math:

• At night: 10.5 hours in bed, minus a 2-hour waking = 8.5 hours of actual sleep.
• Daytime nap: 2 hours.
• Total: 10.5 hours of sleep in 24 hours.

For a 16-month-old, that’s very low. Most need 12–14 hours in a 24-hour period.

When toddlers (and other young children) are overtired, their bodies release cortisol (a stress hormone), which makes them wired and restless. That “second wind” is what leads to night wakings and middle-of-the-night play sessions in this situation. 

2. Sleep Associations Matter

This is what I didn’t say in the FB thread.

If your toddler is always rocked to sleep, she may come to rely on rocking as the only way to drift off. So when they wake at 1 am (as all humans do, briefly, between sleep cycles), she struggles to get back to sleep on her own.

And then the cortisol that I mentioned earlier makes rocking them back to sleep more challenging. 

Bringing her into the parents' bed can make this even trickier. Even though it’s meant to help, from your toddler’s point of view, it’s a reward: “I wake up, I get rocked, I get snuggles, maybe even some middle-of-the-night play.” It’s reinforcing the exact pattern you want to stop.

3. The Role of Schedule

That mid-morning car nap is a red flag. It suggests she’s tired earlier than expected, likely because her nights aren’t restorative enough. Even though her mom thinks she's getting plenty of sleep. And sleeping in the late morning is not a biologically ideal time,  nor is sleep in the car versus in the crib, which means it's likely not a very restorative sleep. Leading to even more overtiredness. 

For most toddlers around 16 months, the ideal schedule looks something like:
​

• Wake: 6:30–7:00 am
• Nap: 12:00–2:00 pm (in the crib, not the car)
• Bedtime: 7:00–7:30 pm
  
  

That earlier bedtime can feel counterintuitive. But when children are overtired, pushing bedtime later only backfires.

This schedule will mean avoiding the car (stroller, baby carrier) in the late morning until the overtired toddler catches up on sleep debt. But that inconvenience is well worth it when you consider uninterrupted nights of sleep. 

4. What I’d Recommend If She Was My Client

Every family is different, and no, you absolutely don’t need to use “cry it out” if that doesn’t feel right.

But the basic steps I’d walk a client through would be:

• Shift bedtime earlier.
  
• Keep naps consistent around 12 pm. (Avoid the car in the late morning!)
  
• Create a soothing, predictable bedtime routine.
  
• And most importantly: put your toddler down awake, so they learn to fall asleep on their own at bedtime and during the night. 
• Use a soothing method at night that teaches the child had to go back to sleep independently rather than the parent soothing the child back to sleep. (Again, this doesn't need to be cry-it-out).

The Big Picture

Night wakings are a symptom of overtiredness, misaligned schedules, or sleep associations that no longer work as a child grows.

The good news? With the right tweaks, toddlers this age are fully capable of sleeping 11–12 hours at night and taking one solid nap during the day.

If you’re nodding along because your toddler also wakes up in the wee hours ready to party, know that it’s fixable. And you don’t have to do it alone. Schedule a free consultation and get your questions answered about how this could work for your family. 

Many parents tell me, “I have to stay in the room until my child falls asleep.”

Bedtime turns into lying in the dark for 30–45 minutes or even longer, waiting for little eyes to finally close, knowing the dinner dishes, the lunch bags, and work emails await. 

Sound familiar? 

It's so hard to stay calm and patient in those moments when the to do list feels never-ending. 

It doesn't have to be like this.  

A gentle alternative is timed check-ins — stepping out for a short interval, then returning to reassure. Over time, this method helps children feel secure while also learning to settle themselves.

And yes, this works even for kids with separation anxiety, a "spirited" temperament, and extra strong opinions. :) 

In fact, timed checks are especially helpful for kids like these. 

Three ways timed check-ins benefit your child:

1. Builds trust and security

When you consistently return at the times you promise, your child learns: “My parent always comes back.” That predictability lowers anxiety and makes bedtime feel safe.

2. Encourages independence

With you nearby but not right next to them, your child gets to practice falling asleep on their own. That little bit of independence builds confidence they’ll carry into other parts of life, like daycare and school drop offs. 

3. Eases bedtime struggles

As your child grows more comfortable with the routine, the protests get shorter and bedtime becomes calmer. Falling asleep starts to feel less like a battle more like a pleasant ritual you both actually enjoy.

✨ The best part? Your child still feels cared for, while you gain back time and energy in the evenings. Everyone wins.

Ready to try this (with support)?

I know this might sound like an impossible goal.

That's where I can help.

Sleep coaching helps you create -- and consistently implement -- a plan that’s gentle, consistent, and tailored to your child’s needs. And with my money-back guarantee, there’s no risk in getting started. Let's talk about if this might be a good fit for your family. 

If you’ve been putting off sleep training because the thought of leaving your baby to cry alone feels impossible, you are not alone.

For years, parents have been told that “cry-it-out” or timed check-ins are the only way to help babies learn independent sleep. And for many families, those approaches work beautifully. But for others? They feel too harsh and occasionally, just don’t work.

The good news is that there’s now an option that’s changing everything. It’s a virtually no-cry approach that keeps you right there with your baby as they learn to settle. It’s highly supportive, highly responsive, and works even if your baby has never slept more than a 45 minutes at a time, guaranteed.

Here’s what parents who’ve tried it are saying:
​

• “I finally felt like I could help my baby sleep without feeling like I was abandoning her.”
• “By the third night, he was sleeping in longer stretches — and we never had more than a few minutes of fussing.”
• “I wish I had known this was an option months ago.”
  
  

This method isn’t magic — it still requires consistency and commitment — but it bridges the gap between doing nothing and doing something that feels too hard on everyone.

If you’ve been waiting for a way to gently teach your baby to sleep longer stretches — one that honors both their needs and yours — this might be exactly what you’ve been hoping for.

Curious to learn more? Let’s talk about if this could be the perfect fit for your family.

The subject line of her email instantly caught my attention, “Shocked and excited.”

A new client had just started implementing her sleep plan and wrote to tell me, “I just wanted to drop you an email to let you know I am so thrilled things have been so smooth! I am so surprised at how quickly he has responded to the boundary. I guess he really needed a boundary!” 

Parents come to me exhausted and anxious, needing better sleep yet worried that holding a firm, consistent boundary will somehow hurt their child. They fear that saying: “You will fall asleep by yourself after lights out,” will feel cold, harsh, or unloving. Afraid their child will feel abandoned. 

But what they discover—often within just a few nights—is that consistent, loving boundaries are not mean, cold or cruel at all. In fact, they are one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

Boundaries Build Safety

Children crave predictability. When you hold a boundary with calm, loving consistency, you’re not being strict for the sake of being strict—you’re creating a sense of safety.Your child doesn’t have to wonder:

• “Will Mom come back if I cry?”
• “Will I be put to bed before I am overtired?”
• "Will tonight's bedtime routine look like last night's?"
  
  

They know what to expect. And that calm predictability allows them to relax into the rest their little bodies need to be their best selves.

Boundaries Build Confidence

When your child learns that they can fall asleep independently—or that they can handle waiting until breakfast for food— they feel proud of themselves. Knowing they can take care of their own needs such as:

• "I can do hard things."
• “I can cope with my big feelings.”
• "I can handle separation from my adult because I know they will always come back."
  
  

It’s empowering. And it sets the stage for resilience in so many areas of their life beyond sleep.

Boundaries Are Love in Action

The truth is, boundaries for your child aren’t about control. They’re about connection.

When you calmly and consistently hold a boundary, you’re showing your child:

• “I love you enough to keep you safe.”
• “I believe in your ability to do this.”
• “I’m here for you while you learn.”
  
  

And that combination of love + consistency? That’s what builds kids who are secure, confident, and well-rested.

The Best Part: You Become The Parent You've Always Wanted To Be

The thing I love most about this process is watching parents’ confidence grow right alongside their children’s.

That same mom who wrote to me “shocked and excited” is now contemplating a trip to see the grandparents and cousins, secure in the knowledge that her well rested child can handle the change in routine.  

Want to have a confident, well rested child as you head into the new school year?

Set up a free consult to discuss how we can get your entire family well rested, confident, and connected. No “cry it out” required. ​

Four-month-old Jacob was waking every 45 minutes all night long.

His mother was beyond exhausted.

Nap routines had unraveled, and bedtime was a struggle she dreaded. She had resisted sleep training for a long time because she was afraid he would cry all night long. Afraid the crying would be too hard on him. Or on her. 

But then we made a plan together—simple, respectful, and realistic.That first night, he cried for 15 minutes. Then he fell asleep—and slept 6 hours in a row for the first time in months.
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He woke up after midnight. His mother fed him, and then he went back to sleep without any tears until dawn. The second night feeding we planned on wasn't necessary. 

On day five, she nervously laid him down awake at naptime for the first time. He rolled over and fell asleep on his own. Quietly. Happily. No crying.

This is what respectful sleep coaching can look like. Not abandonment. Not harm. Just support, structure, and trust in your baby’s capacity to adapt.

What If Crying Isn’t Always a Crisis?

Many parents hit a wall when it comes to sleep because they equate any crying with damage. Their baby cries during a nap transition or bedtime, and their body floods with adrenaline, guilt and fear.

This isn’t weakness. It’s biology. You are wired to respond to your baby’s distress. That response is part of what makes you a nurturing, attuned parent.But not all crying is the same. And not all crying is harmful.

Sometimes crying is your baby’s way of saying:

This is new. I’m confused. I need to adjust.

​And when we meet that cry with calm and consistency —even if we’re not “rescuing” every time—we’re not doing harm. We’re helping them grow.

Crying Is Communication (Not Just Distress)

There’s a huge range of baby cries:

• The "I’m so tired but can’t fall asleep" cry 
  
• The "I don't want my diaper changed right now" cry
  
• The "I want you to let me chew on your phone" cry
  
• And yes, the "I need help right now" cry
  
  

We learn to tell the difference over time. But if we treat every cry like a four-alarm emergency, we miss opportunities to support our babies in learning, adapting, and settling with less intervention.

Responsive Parenting ≠ Immediate Rescue

Imagine this: You’re in a grocery store, and your 4-year-old throws a tantrum because you won’t buy them a candy bar. Would you panic and think they were being harmed? Probably not. You’d stay calm. You’d hold the boundary. You’d help them through it.

This frustration is real but clearly it’s not dangerous. 

Your baby’s frustration during a bedtime change is similar. The tears are real. But that doesn’t mean they’re being hurt. Limits can be loving. 

So can consistency.

So can giving your baby a few moments to try, while you stay close.

Discomfort Is Normal. And Necessary

We all want to protect our kids from pain. But growth—whether it’s learning to crawl, learning to share, or learning to fall asleep—almost always includes some discomfort.

If we never let a baby fall when learning to walk, they’d never build the strength or confidence to try again.

Learning to sleep solo is no different.Your baby might prefer to fall asleep on your chest, but that doesn’t mean they’re harmed if you sometimes say, “I’m here, and you’re safe, and it’s time to sleep in your crib.”

In fact, it’s the beginning of trust.

"You’re okay. I believe in you. I’ll help you through it. I'll always come back."

Sleep Coaching Can Be Respectful, Attuned, and Loving

The sleep coaching I offer is rooted in your baby’s development, your values, and your readiness. We move at your pace. We preserve connection. And we build in flexibility.

Crying may happen. But we approach it with intention and support—not panic.

Because crying is not the enemy. Exhaustion is.

Ready for a Change?

If you’re ready to get more rest—and want a plan that works for you and your baby—I’d love to help. Here’s the link to sign up for a free consult. 

My coaching includes a money-back guarantee because I believe in this process—and in your ability to support your baby with love and confidence.

You don’t have to do this alone. We'll give you a clear, actionable plan. And a calm, steady voice to guide you. You and your baby deserve to feel connected and well rested.