 She lay in bed at 4 am, wide awake—again.
Not because the baby was crying. Not because she was behind on work or overwhelmed by the laundry (though, that too). But because she couldn’t stop thinking about how her kids were growing up… and their grandparents hardly seemed to notice. She’d tried everything. Invited them over for dinner. Sent adorable videos of her toddler’s first dance class. Offered to FaceTime whenever they were free. And still—silence. Or, at best, vague replies. “We’ve been so busy.” “Let’s try next weekend.” “Tell the kids we say hi.” Meanwhile, she saw the pictures. Her friends’ kids beaming next to doting grandparents. Stories about spontaneous visits, sleepovers, shared traditions. And it broke something in her—not because she needed her parents to show up for her, but because her kids deserved more. If you’ve ever felt this heartbreak—that quiet, aching gap between what you hoped your kids would have and what’s actually happening—you’re not alone. It’s a grief that doesn’t get talked about. Because you’re supposed to just be grateful. For your healthy kids. For your stable job. For whatever support you do have. And yet… when your kids ask why Grandma didn’t come to the recital, or why they haven’t been to Grandpa’s house in a while, your stomach drops. You’re the one trying to hold it all together. Trying to build connection. Trying to create a sense of family. Trying to protect your kids from the sting of feeling unwanted. But deep down, you feel it, too. Here’s what I want to say, just in case no one else has: You’re not asking for too much. You’re not overreacting. And it’s okay to feel sad—or even angry—about this. Because when we become moms, we often start dreaming of a big, beautiful web of love around our kids. And when parts of that web are missing, it hurts. Not because you’re needy. But because you love so deeply. And while you can’t control how others show up… You get to grieve the gap. You get to name the loss. And you still get to be the kind of parent who shows up with her whole heart. Even when others don’t. If this resonates with you, coaching might help. Not because I have a script to fix your family dynamics—no one does. But because you deserve a place where you get to be cared for. Where your heartbreak has room to breathe. Where we can gently untangle the guilt, the resentment, the mental spirals—and help you show up with strength and softness, even in the messiest moments. This is the kind of work I do with moms every day. Not to make them less emotional. But to make space for the full truth of their experience—and help them find steadiness again, even when others don’t change. If you’re carrying a quiet heaviness like this, I’d be honored to support you. You don’t have to keep holding it all on your own. PS – If this story resonated, and you’re curious what it would be like to have someone in your corner, I’d love to talk with you. Here’s the link to book a call. There's no sales pressure and I promise you'll learn something fascinating about yourself.
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With All the Developmental Leaps. Teething, Travel & Illness, When Is The Best Time To Sleep Train?4/14/2025 Are You Waiting for the ‘Perfect Time’ to Improve Sleep? Here’s Why That’s a Trap
It was 2:30 AM. Again. You rocked your baby for the third time that night, trying to remember what the pediatrician said about wake windows and wondering if the next sleep regression had already started. “Maybe we should just wait until this phase is over,” you whisper to your partner, even though you’ve said the same thing for three months now. Sound familiar? You want better sleep. Desperately. But you’re not sure now is the right time. Your baby just started teething. Or you’ve got a trip coming up. Or they’re hitting a developmental leap (or five). So you wait. Then one day turns into a week. A week turns into months. And before you know it, you're still exhausted, your baby still isn't sleeping, and you're still telling yourself the same thing: “As soon as [insert challenge here] is over… then we’ll start.” As a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified sleep coach, and mom of three, I hear this every week. And I get it. You want your baby to have the best chance of success—and you want to feel confident and calm when you begin.But here’s the truth: there’s no perfect time to start. And waiting might be making things harder, not easier. The All-or-Nothing Mindset Keeps You Stuck Parenting already asks a lot of you. And when you’re running on fumes, your brain naturally looks for reasons to delay. “Let’s just wait until this leap is over” feels like a wise, patient decision. But often, it’s actually rooted in fear—fear of making things worse, fear of failing, fear of it not working. That all-or-nothing thinking (“I need the stars to align before I can fix sleep”) keeps so many families stuck in survival mode far longer than they need to be. (I talk to families who have literally be suffering for years before they reach out to me. So if this is you, don't feel guilty, you are in good company.) What If Sleep Helped With the Leap Instead of Needing to Wait It Out? Yes, babies go through regressions, leaps, teething, growth spurts, travel, new siblings, daycare transitions… all of it. But those challenges aren’t going anywhere. In fact, they’ll keep coming no matter when you start.The difference? A well-rested baby can handle those transitions better. Better naps and consolidated nights mean:
When Should You Wait? If you have travel coming up in the next two weeks and your baby will be older than 9 months by the time you're home? Okay, then it probably makes sense to wait and begin once you're back. But in almost every other scenario, starting now will make the next phase easier. Not harder. You Don’t Have to Be Ready—You Just Have to Start You can start with incremental small changes if that is what feels doable to you. Believe me, in today’s stressful times, I can understand that an entire overhaul of your nights might feel just a bit overwhelming. (Start just with moving bedtime earlier!) Because here’s the secret: sleep improves faster than you think. In just two weeks, your nights can feel radically different. Want to talk about what it might look like to get real sleep--now, not someday? Let’s hop on a quick call. We’ll figure out if now is the right time for your family, and I’ll walk you through exactly what support would look like. (And if now is not the right time for your family, I promise I’ll tell you the truth about that, too.) You’ve waited long enough. Let’s make this the moment it starts to get better.  If you’ve ever called your baby a “bad sleeper,” you’re not alone.
Maybe your friend’s baby was sleeping through the night by 10 weeks and yours still wakes every 45 minutes. Maybe bedtime feels like a full-contact sport. Maybe naps only happen in the car—or not at all. It’s easy to assume your baby is just… wired differently. That they’re one of the “bad sleepers.” But after helping over 500 families teach their babies to sleep through the night, I’m here to tell you: There’s no such thing as a bad sleeper. There are babies who need more support, more time, or a different approach—but labeling them as “bad sleepers” can actually make things harder for everyone. Here’s why that belief is so common—and how to reframe it so your baby (and your family) can finally get the rest you need. The “Bad Sleeper” Myth When sleep isn’t happening, it feels deeply personal. You start to question everything:
But the idea that some babies are just "bad at sleeping" sets parents up to feel helpless—when in reality, sleep is a skill that babies can learn with the right support. Some babies come out able to sleep independently with very little guidance from a very early age. Others are more sensitive, reactive, or need more structure to feel safe enough to rest. That’s not a flaw. It’s a starting point. Sleep Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait Just like crawling, eating, or potty training, sleep is a developmental process that involves learning. And like any other skill:
So instead of asking, “Why can’t my baby sleep?”, try asking: “What’s getting in the way of sleep—and what support does my baby need to learn it?” What to Do If Your Baby Isn’t Sleeping Whether your baby is 7 weeks or 7 months, here’s what I recommend instead of resigning to the “bad sleeper” label: 1. Start with rhythm—not a rigid schedule Babies thrive on predictable patterns, even from the earliest weeks. A consistent flow of sleep → feed → play → sleep helps their nervous systems relax. 2. Recognize and watch for sleepy cues, not the clock Many overtired babies look “wired”—not sleepy. Learn your baby’s signs and keep wake windows short (especially in the morning). 3. Create a consistent sleep routine A short, consistent wind-down signals safety. It could be as simple as a diaper change, white noise, swaddle/sleep sack, and a quick cuddle plus a lullaby. 4. Look at how your baby falls asleep If your baby always falls asleep at the breast or in motion, they may struggle to connect sleep cycles on their own. That’s not bad—it just means you can gently start practicing other ways of settling. 5. Don’t wait until you’re desperate You don’t have to hit rock bottom to get support. In fact, the sooner you create a foundation for sleep, the easier it is to build healthy habits—without sleep training that feels harsh or extreme. Every Baby Can Learn to Sleep There is no one “right” way to teach a baby to sleep. But every baby has the capacity to rest better, with support that meets them where they are. And every parent deserves to feel confident—not ashamed—about seeking help when sleep isn’t working. You’re not failing. You’re figuring it out. And there’s a way forward—without labels, blame, or burnout. Need support? If your baby isn’t sleeping and you're beyond tired, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to guess your way through this. I help families create customized, responsive sleep plans that work with their baby’s temperament and their parenting values. Book a free call here or check out my gentle sleep coaching package. You can sleep again. And it doesn’t have to mean letting your baby cry it out.  How you can get your newborn sleeping through the night quickly and painlessly. I met baby Luca’s mom when he was just 7 weeks old. Like so many new parents, she messaged me exhausted and unsure: “I’m not sure if it’s too early to reach out but…”
Luca had gone from sleeping two solid 3–4 hour stretches to waking nearly every hour. She and her partner were running on fumes. She’d read about a “6–8 week sleep regression” and wondered if she just had to ride it out for several more months or if there might be a less painful solution. I assured her that there was, indeed, hope for them and we got started with a newborn sleep plan. Fast forward just 12 days, and I got this: “Hi Abby! The night was great! We put him down at 8 and there was no crying—he slept until 3, we fed him, and then he woke up at 6:40. He then went back to sleep until 9! We are so happy!” Their baby was 9 weeks old at that point . The 5–6 Month Sleep Training Rule: Helpful or Harmful? We’ve all heard the same thing: “You can’t sleep train a baby before 5 or 6 months. They aren't capable of self soothing before then.” This guideline is meant to protect babies who still need night feeds or aren’t ready for self soothing. And yes, some babies—especially those with reflux or colic--do need more support early on. But here’s what no one tells you: Some babies are ready much sooner. And also, “sleep training” doesn’t have to mean letting your baby cry alone or 12 hours at night with no feeds necessarily. It can simply mean:
My Own Experience: Early Sleep Success When I tell families that some younger babies can sleep long stretches, I’m not just speaking as a coach—I’ve lived it.
What Can You Do Before 5 Months? If your baby is younger than 5 months, you don’t have to sit back and suffer. You can:
Curious if your baby is ready for more sleep—even before 5 months? Let’s talk. Click here to book a free sleep consultation and find out if your family is ready for great sleep.  Your child is finally sleeping through the night. No more rocking at 2 AM, no more tiptoeing out of their room like a ninja, no more middle-of-the-night wake-ups that left you running on fumes the next day. So why are you exhausted? You expected to feel amazing once sleep got back on track. You thought you’d finally get your energy back, that you’d wake up refreshed and ready to take on the day. And yet… you still feel drained. If anything, you’re realizing now just how deep the exhaustion runs. It turns out, sleep isn’t the only factor when it comes to how you feel. There are other hidden drains on your energy—ones that have nothing to do with how many hours you’re getting each night. Let’s talk about what they are and what you can do about them. The Mental Load is Still Crushing You Even with sleep under control, your brain is still carrying an overwhelming number of tabs open at all times: Did I send that email? When is that school deadline? What’s for dinner? Did I ever text back my boss? This invisible weight—tracking, planning, remembering—is mentally exhausting. You can sleep eight hours and still wake up feeling like you’re running a marathon before you even get out of bed. What to do: Start writing things down instead of carrying them in your head. A shared calendar, a brain dump list, or even automating small decisions (hello, meal planning!) can lighten your mental load. And most importantly? Start delegating. If you can manage teams and projects at work, you can offload some of the home logistics too. You Never Actually Rest Rest isn’t just about sleep—it’s about giving your brain and body a break. But if your “downtime” looks like folding laundry, catching up on missed messages, or running through tomorrow’s to-do list in your head while lying in bed, you’re not actually resting. What to do: True rest comes from doing things that restore you. That might be reading for pleasure, taking a walk, stretching, or watching a show (but not binge watching the entire season!). Your nervous system needs intentional recovery time—not just a break from parenting but from everything else too. You’re Always “On” Many moms feel like they’re in constant performance mode—holding it together at work, showing up 100% for their kids, making sure nothing falls through the cracks. The problem? You never get to exhale. Even if your body gets sleep, the mental exhaustion of always being “on” takes a serious toll. What to do: Build in actual transitions between work and home life. Take five minutes after work to decompress before shifting into mom mode. Turn off notifications in the evening. Find small ways to give yourself breathing room. You’re Overworking Without Realizing It Just because your work hours are technically done doesn’t mean you’re off the clock. Whether it’s checking emails at 9 PM, replaying conversations in your head, or mentally preparing for tomorrow’s meetings while making dinner, your brain is still working—long after you’ve “left” work. What to do: Set hard stops on work. Close your laptop at a designated time. Stop checking emails on your phone at night. Mentally (and physically) step away from work at the end of the day. You’re Neglecting Your Own Needs (Because You're Focused on Everyone Else's) When your child wasn’t sleeping, your whole focus was on fixing that. But now that it’s better, have you actually shifted any focus back to yourself? Or are you still stuck in “take care of everyone else first” mode? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us were raised to believe that being a “good” mom (and a good employee, a good partner, a good everything) means putting everyone else first. It’s so deeply ingrained that even when we can prioritize ourselves, we often don’t—because it feels uncomfortable, or even wrong. Moms—especially high-achieving ones—tend to power through exhaustion rather than pausing to take care of themselves. But energy isn’t just about sleep—it’s about nourishment, movement, joy, and actual self-care (not just another thing on your to-do list). What to do: Ask yourself: What used to make you feel good? What feels missing? Maybe it’s movement, connection, creativity, or even just time to breathe. Start with small shifts—because if you don’t prioritize yourself, no one else will. The Bottom Line: It’s Not Just About Sleep Yes, sleep is foundational—but energy is about so much more than how many hours you get at night. If you’re still feeling exhausted, it’s time to look beyond sleep and ask: What else is draining me? What needs to change? If this resonates, know that you don’t have to figure it out alone. This is exactly the kind of thing I help my coaching clients with—identifying what’s really keeping them stuck, and making changes that actually work in real life. You’ve already done something amazing by getting your child to sleep better. Now, what if you could feel better, too? Let’s talk about what that could look like. Click here to schedule a free discovery call.  Two weeks ago, two-and-a-half year old Erica's world changed.
She had been happily sleeping in her crib—until she discovered she could catapault herself out. Suddenly, her parents had no choice but to immediately transition her to a toddler bed. What they hoped would be an exciting milestone quickly turned into misery for everyone. Bedtime stretched on for hours. At first, her parents tried sitting just outside her door, but Erica wasn’t having it. Soon, her mom found herself trapped in the nursery every night, lying next to Erica until she finally fell asleep. And that wasn’t the end of it—she was waking multiple times a night, and each time, her mom had to go back in and stay with Erica until she drifted off again. Mom was exhausted. The toddler was exhausted. And with a big move just two weeks away, something had to change. Mom needed time and energy to pack but they were both exhausted. But fear holding Mom back. The Fear of Feelings of Abandonment Like so many parents, this mom worried that pushing for independent sleep would damage her daughter's attachment to her. What it her daughter's emotional well being was harmed in some way? This is a struggle most of us parents can relate to. We all want to protect our children from suffering. The instinct to protect them is so strong that it can feel almost unbearable to watch them wrestle with something hard—even when we know they are capable of handling it. But here’s the thing: Resilience is built by surviving challenging experiences. It’s built by moving through it with loving support. Of course none of us ever want our children to go through difficult experiences. But if your child already is miserably overtired, isn't it great to know that not only can they can get better sleep, they can also end up happy, stronger people on the other side? Stepping Into Something New With a plan in place, Mom made a shift. Each night she gradually moved further away from Erica's bedside. The first night was tough. Tears, protests, sadness. It took a very long time for Erica to fall asleep and Mom had to return multiple times. But then, something amazing happened. On the course of two weeks, Erica learned to fall asleep more and more quickly, with fewer and fewer protests, even while her mother moved further away. Eventually, Erica was falling asleep completely independently and her mother no longer needed to stay at all. Best of all, Erica said the following about the process, “I was sad that Mummy didn’t come, but I did a great job! I’m so proud of myself!” She had done something hard. And instead of feeling abandoned, she felt empowered. Instead of feeling sad, she felt proud. She was learning one of the most valuable lessons of all: I can do hard things, secure in the love of my parents. (She was also a lot happier because her body was well rested instead of miserably overtired.) The Power of “I Did It!” As parents, we wish we could clear every obstacle from our children’s path. But the truth is, we can’t—nor should we. Children instinctively know this already. They push themselves constantly, first to pull up and stand, then to walk, then to conquer the climbing structure at the playground. No one is pushing them to do these things, they want to do these things. What we can do is give them the gift of believing in them. We can show them that challenges are not something to fear, but something to face head on. That they will experience frustration, sadness, and struggle—but those feelings don’t have to define them. And when they get to the other side? That’s where the magic happens. That’s where they say, “I did it!”—and feel a deep, unshakable pride in themselves. Resilience: A Gift That Lasts a Lifetime This little girl’s bedtime struggle was just one of many challenges she’ll face in her life. But through the process, not only did she receive the gift of great sleep, she also gained the following beliefs: 🌟 I can feel sad and still succeed. 🌟 I can do hard things and be proud of myself. 🌟 I am strong. And that lesson? That confidence? That ability to trust herself? That will serve her for a lifetime. What’s a moment when your child surprised you with their resilience? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear! 💬👇 PS Ready for your child to fearlessly, independently sleep through the night? Book a sleep consult and get your little one sleeping through the night in two weeks or less, guaranteed.  If you’re exhausted, running on fumes, and desperate for more sleep—but dreading the idea of letting your baby cry—it’s time for a game-changer. There’s one simple tweak you can make today that will dramatically improve your baby’s nighttime sleep:
👉 Move to a four-hour feeding schedule during the day and night. That’s it. No crying. No stress. Just a gentle shift that makes all the difference. Why Does This Work? Many babies wake frequently at night because they’re used to snacking throughout the day and evening. Their little bodies don’t learn to consolidate calories—or sleep. By stretching feedings to every four hours (gently, at your baby’s pace), you naturally help them take fuller feeds, making nighttime wake-ups less necessary. I couldn’t believe it when I implemented this with my oldest daughter. She started sleeping 8-hour stretches at just 8 weeks old—without any formal sleep training. Since then, I’ve seen similar results with hundreds of client families. Even if your baby isn’t quite ready to sleep through the night yet, this one shift will lead to longer, more restful sleep stretches—without tears. What Can You Expect? ✔️ Fewer night wakings ✔️ Longer, more predictable stretches of sleep ✔️ More peaceful days (and nights!) Want to take it a step further? If you're ready for your baby to sleep through the night, I can help--with a customized sleep plan and guaranteed results in two weeks or less. Let’s get you the rest you need. Schedule a free consult today.  You’re up for the third time tonight, rocking your fussy baby in the dim glow of the nightlight. They tug at their ear, gnaw on their drooly hand, and let out a whimper that turns into a full-on wail. Teething, you think. It has to be. Why else would they be waking up so much?
Sound familiar? Many parents have been in this exact moment, blaming teething for sudden sleep struggles. But what if teething isn’t the real culprit? What if something else is at play? Let’s dive into why teething gets all the blame—and what’s actually going on with your baby’s sleep. Why Teething Gets Blamed for Every Sleep Issue—And What’s Really Going On Teething has long been the go-to explanation for every sleep disruption in babies and toddlers. Your baby is suddenly waking up every hour? Teething. Fussier than usual? Teething. Refusing to nap? Definitely teething. But is teething really the cause of all these sleep struggles, or is it just an easy scapegoat? The Reality of Teething Discomfort Let’s be clear—teething can be uncomfortable. Some babies experience drooling, gum irritation, and increased biting or chewing behaviors. Occasionally, they might have a low-grade fever or a slightly disrupted sleep pattern for a day or two. But teething is not a chronic, weeks-long sleep saboteur. Most babies start teething around 4–6 months, and they continue cutting teeth well into their toddler years. If teething truly disrupted sleep every time a new tooth was coming in, babies would never sleep! The reality is that teething discomfort comes in waves and is often mild compared to other developmental changes happening in your baby’s body and brain. Why Teething Gets the Blame
If your baby is suddenly struggling with sleep, teething might be a small factor, but chances are other things are at play:
The Bottom Line Teething can cause mild discomfort, but it’s rarely the main reason for prolonged sleep disruptions. Instead of assuming every rough night is teething-related, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Addressing sleep habits and developmental changes will do far more for your baby’s rest than simply blaming new teeth. If sleep struggles persist, there are gentle and effective strategies to help your baby get the rest they need—without waiting months for all those teeth to come in! PS Great news: ff you don't wait for alllllllll the teeth to come in (and probably well beyond), you don't have to. Book a free call and find out how you can get your little one sleeping through the night in two weeks or less, guaranteed.  Not for the first time -- sheesh! -- I made a mistake on my DST advice. This time I actually checked with another resource before publishing and THEY were wrong too!
Sigh. Please move your child's bedtime, naps, and meals a few minutes EARLIER each day in anticipation of the start of daylight savings time, NOT later. I don't know why this one confuses me every time! Apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused! The good news is you still have time to get your kids on track for the DST transition. Heads Up -- Daylight Savings Starts This Sunday (in the USA). Here's How To Prepare Your Little One3/3/2025  Daylight Savings Time (DST) begins in the United States on Sunday, March 9, meaning the clocks will spring forward by one hour. For parents of babies and toddlers, this time change can disrupt sleep schedules and lead to overtired, cranky little ones.
But don’t worry—here's a plan to help your child adjust smoothly! The Best Way to Handle Daylight Savings Time If you can plan ahead, the gradual shift method is my favorite way to help little ones transition without major sleep disruptions. Here’s how:
If you’re a little less organized (and I don't blame you! this gradual shift requires a lot of attention to detail!) or don’t have a full week to prepare, you can still adjust successfully:
You can, of course, do nothing at all—but be prepared for potential sleep disruptions like early morning wakings, night wakings, and overtiredness. If that happens:
The Key Benefit of a Gradual Approach One of the biggest advantages of easing into DST is flexibility. If your little one is already overtired on a given day, you can simply take a break and resume adjusting the next day. This prevents unnecessary stress and keeps sleep disruptions minimal. Want a Baby Who Sleeps Soundly Every Night? Daylight Savings Time is just one of many sleep challenges parents face. If you’re ready for peaceful nights and easy bedtimes, book a free consult today and find out how your family can feel amazingly well-rested in two weeks or less—guaranteed! |
AuthorAbby Wolfson is a pediatric nurse practitioner, certified child sleep consultant and certified life coach for parents. She divides her time between Brooklyn, NY and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Archives
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